


We Bleed As One

by bornfromthesea



Category: Marauders Era (Harry Potter) - Fandom
Genre: BAMF Lily Evans Potter, Demi-sexual James Potter, Friends to Lovers, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Remus Lupin & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter Friendship, Slow Burn, first wizarding war, jily, post lake incident, some marlene and mary pov, wolfstar, writing this for fun
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:34:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 32,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25602895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bornfromthesea/pseuds/bornfromthesea
Summary: Lily Evans thought she knew who her true friends were. Remus Lupin was scared that he would inevitably lose everyone he loved. James Potter realized he needs to grow up. Sirius Black wanted to forge a new path. Severus Snape thought he was right. Regulus Black felt trapped. Marlene McKinnon was still finding out who she was. Mary MacDonald wasn’t sure if she still belonged in this world. Peter Pettigrew had major confidence issues. The world was quickly changing, and for better or worse, these witches and wizards realized that they would have to change with it.
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Mary Macdonald & Marlene McKinnon, Sirius Black & Remus Lupin & Peter Pettigrew & James Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	1. Mudblood

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I have been reading a lot about the Marauders, so I thought it would be fun to attempt my own story. I have been trying to do more creative writing, but I've been having trouble building a full story, so I thought I would do one that already has a baseline to work with. Hope you enjoy! Please let me know if you have any advice or feedback.

_Mudblood. Filthy mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. Filth._

It was a warm day at the end of June, but instead of studying for her O.W.L.S or enjoying the Hogwarts grounds, Lily Evans was laying on the floor of the Astronomy Tower, her cheek pressed against the cold stone and her eyes clamped shut, replaying everything from that afternoon through her mind. 

_Mudblood. Mudblood. Mudblood. I must be stupid. How could I have let this go on for so long? How could I have given him so many chances?_

She silently cursed herself for being so naive and not taking the warning signs more seriously. It wasn’t the first time she had been called the word, but it stung much more coming from Sev. He had always told her that blood status didn’t matter, that he didn’t care that she was muggle-born.

_I guess he did care._

She heard distant footsteps drawing closer, but didn’t bother opening her eyes, for the memories and thoughts in her head were too overwhelming to care. She sensed someone sit down next to her, but she could care less about who it was. 

“Lily,” came Remus Lupin’s soft voice, interrupting the thoughts taking up space in her head. She breathed a silent sigh of relief that it wasn’t Sev, Potter, or worse- some blood purist intent on attacking her. 

“Hmmm.” Was all she replied, but she opened her eyes to glance up at his scarred face and kind, amber eyes. 

“You know how easy it would have been for me to jump you just now?” His tone was sarcastic and teasing, as was his usual way to break tension, but she was also able to detect worry in his voice. 

“I’d like to see you try,” was all she said before closing her eyes again. Remus was well aware of Lily’s talent with a wand and her affinity for hexing those who bothered her after the amount of times she had done it to Potter, Black, Pettigrew, and occasionally, Remus. However, she would admit that it wasn’t the smartest idea to be so isolated and not paying attention. 

“Are you okay?” 

She thought for a moment. She wasn’t okay, not really, but when she pressed her thoughts further, she realized that she wasn’t all too surprised by what had happened that afternoon. In all honesty, she just felt stupid to think her longest friendship would come to this end. “I’m just processing.” It was true. 

_How did it all come to this? How could he have turned into this person?_

She had noticed the coldness in his eyes becoming more evident this last year, but she had hoped--no--tried to convince herself that it was just the stress of O.W.L.S and deciding his career path. Even when she saw him hanging around blood purists and keeping their friendship in the shadows, she still told herself that he was just a little lost, that she could bring him back to the right side. 

“I don’t know how he became this way,” she found herself telling Remus. “He’s known me since we were nine, he told me about magic, about Hogwarts. But now he’s siding with people who think I don’t deserve magic. Who think it’s diabolical that I’m part of this world. How could he get from there to here?” Her anger hadn’t fully faded, but her voice mostly carried out her concern and desperation for the Sev she met in the playground all those years ago.

“I’m sorry about what happened, Lily, I really am. I’m sorry I didn’t stop James and Sirius too.”

“It’s okay, Remus. It isn’t your job to control the two of them.” Truthfully, Lily hadn’t dwelled much on Potter and Black’s part in the incident by the lake. Sure, she had been furious with them, but most of her anger was directed towards Sev and what seemed like the inevitable break in their friendship. She had long ago written them off as annoying prats and she spent so much time throughout the years being angry at them that it was now a given to be angry at them. 

“But I’m a prefect. It’s my job to prevent conflict and I didn’t even try.” Although Remus could usually be found with his band of brothers, the Marauders, he had become great friends with Lily throughout the years, mostly due to their time spent together in the library. 

“Why?” Lily asked. Admittedly, she had been slightly annoyed at Remus for leaving all the disciplining to her, but she could tell from the look on his face that in this instant something bigger was going on and she immediately forgot her frustration towards him.

Remus took a deep breath, as if he was contemplating telling her, but in the end he said, “I was scared, to be honest. I know it seems silly to be scared of getting involved and disciplining. He knows, Lily, he knows my secret.” As he said this, she heard his voice crack and saw the fear in his eyes. “He’s been hinting at it every time he’s seen me since he found out and I was afraid that if it got out of hand he would finally blurt it out right there in front of everyone.”

At this, Lily sat up, dropping her head against Remus’s shoulder as he put an arm around her and they both leaned against the wall of the Astronomy Tower.

She knew how closely Remus guarded his secret and when the other Marauders and Lily found out, it had been difficult for him to grapple with the new reality. But someone who was practically a stranger, someone she was realizing didn’t even like him, that was an entirely different type of fear. Thinking back, she realized just how much Sev seemed to bring up Remus in normal conversation, as if trying to guide her towards some great discovery.

“How did he find out? Because I promise I didn’t tell him. He’s been hinting at it for a while now...but I’ve always tried to steer him away from it, I promise.” She remembered going to the hospital wing during 3rd year while he recovered from the first full moon after she figured it out. While waiting for him to answer her question, she found her mind drifting to this memory and saw them sitting in his hospital bed, eating chocolate and reading a muggle novel she had brought. 

After a few drawn out sentences, Remus answered. “I know you didn’t. I won’t tell you the whole story right now- it’s long and complicated and it’s just not the right day. He followed me, to put it simply.” 

The inner workings of her brain started buzzing so quickly that she could hardly keep up until it dawned on her. _Hadn’t the boys been pretty distant from Black earlier in the term. He was having more nightmares then, I’m pretty sure. None of them ever told me what happened, but I figured it was fine after everything went back to normal. That was about the time Sev started dropping more hints._

She looked up at Remus’s face and saw that his eyes seemed sad and hurt. “They were saying Potter saved him from something, in February? And you were avoiding Black for a while? He followed you during a full, didn’t he? And Potter got to him before he saw you?” 

“He saw me, but yes. James was able to get him out before anything could happen.” 

Lily suddenly let out a string of muggle swear words. Seeing Remus’ eyes widen in shock, she simply smiled and said, “I’ve been waiting to do that all afternoon. He never could mind his own business, could he?” She started thinking about all the anger she had been holding back- it was unlike her to be so silent when it came to these emotions. 

“I could have killed him,” she heard Remus mumble. With this admission, though, Lily felt more anger coursing through her veins and suddenly her emerald eyes were alight with more passion and exasperation. 

“Remus Lupin! I should not have to tell you this again! You cannot blame yourself for your condition or other people’s actions because of it! Do you understand? You are not a monster!” Lily Evans was a girl who did nothing in halves. She loved fiercely, but if someone wronged her, she would not hold back her anger. 

Perhaps because he knew she was right and didn’t want to contradict her, Remus stood up and held out a hand.

“Come on, no more lying on the cold ground, let’s go to the common room. At least there you can lie on a squashy couch...on a second thought, let’s stop by the kitchens and grab some treats, shall we?”

Lily grinned at this idea. It wasn’t her first time going to the kitchens with Remus- they often planned their rounds so they could stop in for a hot cocoa halfway through or dropped by for some treacle tart as a mid-studying treat. She had even, on occasion, found herself there with all four of the Marauders. “You know I’m always up for the kitchens, Remus, why even ask?” 

Remus was happy he had managed to get a genuine smile out of Lily, one that spread across her whole face and made her eyes crinkle with a mischievous glint. He was equally thrilled that she didn’t seem angry at him. He chuckled and looped his arm through hers, pulling them down the stairs towards the basements. 

\---------

Happily munching on treacle tart from their favorite house-elf, Piply, the two of them began their ascent to Gryffindor tower. Lily seemed better than when he had first found her, but Remus could tell that she was still feeling weighed down by the events of the afternoon. As if she could sense what he was thinking, she suddenly broke the silence by saying, “Everything’s changing isn’t it?” 

It was somewhat a rhetorical question, but Remus could understand what she was asking. Hogwarts was no longer just a magical castle and the wizarding world was no longer just a place that seemed full of wonder. The war was getting more intense, and soon they would have to step outside of the castle walls and face it. 

There were so many things he could say in that moment, but instead he simply said, “I think we just all need to stick together.” It was something he was learning more and more since coming to Hogwarts and making friends for the first time. Before school, he only ever had his mother and father and believed he was destined for a life of solitude, but with the help of Lily and the Marauders, he had learned the importance of letting others in and letting go of his fears. 

As an afterthought, he decided to add, “Listen, please don’t hate me for saying this, but James is really sorry for what happened this afternoon and he’s probably also realized how awful he’s treated Snape these last years. In fact, I know you will really hate me saying this, but the two of you have more in common than you realize. It’s probably hard to see when you’re always fighting…” 

He saw her give him a withering glare, so he broke off, but was relieved when he saw a small smile on her face. “I just need some time, you know? I just lost my best and oldest friend, I’m not sure I’m ready to talk to him. Also, I know most people think I hate him, but I really don’t. He just irritates me. I know how good of a friend he is to the rest of you, it’s just hard to see when he acts so childish and arrogant.” 

Remus didn’t think Lily Evans was truly capable of hating anyone, even after all James had put her through. In fact, he had an inkling that she didn’t even hate Snape after what he had called her. It was one of the things he loved about her- she had a heart full of love- but he would hate to see what happened to someone she really, truly hated. 

They arrived at Gryffindor tower, and after clambering through the portrait hole Lily waved goodbye to Remus with a promise to review Transfiguration notes after dinner. Remus sighed as he wondered what would be waiting for him in the dorm.

\---------

James had been pacing the length of the room after what had happened with Evans and Snape. He knew he crossed a line. After years of jinxing and hexing Snape, he knew this had gone too far. _Damnit, there goes my last chance of becoming her friend, or maybe something more._

Thoughts of dark red hair and blazing green eyes came back to him and he winced as he remembered the anger and hatred within the glare. 

Sirius rolled his eyes at him from where he lounged on his bed tossing a quaffle in the air. 

James breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened and Remus walked in, who he knew from the recently finished Marauder’s Map had been with Evans. He threw the map onto his bed before practically jumping on Remus and exclaiming, “Moony! Thank Merlin you’re back! What did Evans say? Was she furious at me?” He was about to start rambling when Remus cut him off with a weak glare.

“James.”

James was caught off guard by the lack of nickname, which all the Marauders knew meant Remus was annoyed or upset with one of them. _Here comes a Moony lecture._

Without allowing him anytime to speak, Remus began talking while unpacking his school bag. “You really ought to give her some space. She just lost her best mate and in a really terrible way. Honestly, she didn’t say much about you. Or you.” He shot Sirius a look over his shoulder before continuing. “Look, I know you won’t want to hear this- you need to grow up.” He turned towards the two other boys and looked down at his hands, waiting for the arguments to come, but when he looked up, all he saw was James’s hazel eyes blinking in confusion, 

_Grow up, Moony thinks I need to grow up? I mean, I know I can be immature, but really? That’s his solution?_

When James heard Remus let out a dramatic sigh, he knew he was going to tell him exactly what he meant. “I’m not saying that part of you isn’t mature, I know that. Pads and Wormtail know that. But Lily does not know that. She told me that she _knows_ you are a good friend, but she can’t _see_ past your childishness and arrogance. She doesn’t see that because you spend so much of your free time trying to impress her by hexing one of her best mates instead of actually trying to be her friend.” 

At this, James was about to retort that Snape deserved every hex sent his way, but once again Remus cut him off. “Don’t say Snape deserves it. Because, trust me, I know he does...some of the time. But hexing someone unprovoked, that’s not the same thing as doing it because they are picking on a younger student or making fun of muggle-borns. Lily isn’t impressed, she just thinks you are full of yourself and because of that, can’t see any of your good qualities. I think she would actually be your friend if she was able to get to know you. I think it’s time we all did a little growing up.” 

“Bloody hell.” James slumped onto his bed and let out a long sigh while running his hand through his messy hair, as he usually did when he was nervous or distressed. “I knew I crossed a line and she definitely hates me now if she didn’t hate me before! She lost her best mate because of me!”

“Tough luck, mate.” Sirius got up from his bed and sat next to James, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “But I think Moony’s right. Just give her some space.” 

James nodded, lost in thought about how he would apologize and hopefully gain Lily Evans’ friendship. 

At this, Remus smiled and went to join his two friends, also putting an arm around James. “Probably wasn’t the best idea to ask her out while you were hanging Snape upside down with his knickers showing,” he added, which led to the three boys bursting into much needed laughter. 

\---------

Lily spent the rest of the afternoon in her room reviewing Transfiguration notes for her last exam of the year. It was here that Marlene was listening to her beg for her to bring her food from the Great Hall after dinner. 

Marlene McKinnon knew that at first glance, people were intimidated by her. She took pride in this fact and even used it for her advantage. She was the youngest of four rowdy brothers and learned from an early age how to hold her own against them with nothing but her words. She had chin length blonde hair that accentuated her sharp jawline and she stood tall, unafraid of letting her height be seen. Despite the way she portrayed herself, Marlene had a kind, thoughtful, and protective personality. 

“Marlene...please just bring me back a sandwich or something. I really don’t want to go tonight. I’m not hiding...I just don’t want to run into him and listen to him stumble through an apology.” 

Marlene tried to hold her glare, but in the end she conceded, as she couldn’t say no to the look in her friend’s eyes. She left Lily to her studies, silently cursing her ability to defrost Marlene with just a look. _I swear, if I see Snape, I am going to hex him until he cries out of fear._ She took a deep breath, knowing that Lily would not want her to take punishment into her own hands and laughed when she thought that Lily would probably hex him herself. 

She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be happy...angry...sad? _Ughhh._ Yes, she was happy that Snape finally showed his true colors to the only person who hadn’t seen them yet. She was also angry that her friend was now avoiding places in the castle because she wanted to avoid that lousy excuse for a best mate. Was she sad? Maybe a little. It was sad that this was where the world was going, sad that a single word could slice through something that seemed so tight and secure. She decided she was all three, and she was fine with that. Marlene knew that if she targeted her feelings and could name them, everything would fall into place. 

Making her way to the Great Hall, she ran into her other friend, Mary MacDonald, who fell into step with her. In some ways, Mary was everything that Marlene was not. She remembered these things when she looked at Mary. She was of a much shorter stature and could usually be seen with a kind light twinkling in her eyes. She seemed much more approachable than Marlene, it was a wonder the two ended up such close friends. But she knew that despite appearances, Mary was just like her in all the ways she needed a best friend to be. She was just as strong willed, though she hid it well. Mary was like a missing puzzle piece for Marlene. As soon as they became friends in first year, they knew there was no turning back. 

The two walked in companionable silence as they often did, both giving the other time to think through what they first wanted to say. It was one of the things Marlene enjoyed most about their friendship- they seemed to know just what the other needed, whether it be silence and reflection or jumbled sentences with no breaks in between. As they reached Gryffindor table Mary asked, “How’s Lily doing?” 

“She said she’s fine, you know how she is. She didn’t want to come to dinner because she didn’t want to hear that slime-ball apologizing to her yet.”

It had taken a few years for the two of them to strengthen the friendship they had with the other Gryffindor girl, as she clung on to her Slytherin friend at the beginning of school. They had previously only maintained casual friendships with Lily, until 4th year when she started opening up to them more outside of the dorm and classes. 

A scowl broke across Mary’s face at the mention of Snape. “I hope she doesn’t forgive him this time. He doesn’t deserve any more of her chances. I only wish she had realized what he was like earlier.” 

“I think it’s just hard for her ‘cause he was the one to tell her about magic and all, ya know?”

“Yeah, I guess.” Marlene couldn’t help but see Mary quickly glance at the Slytherin table before averting her eyes towards the end of the table where the Marauders were laughing at something Peter said. 

She knew her friend would hate her for bringing up Mucliber and his crowd, so instead Marlene settled for saying, “She hasn’t talked to James. I don’t think he’s tried yet, but it’s probably for the best. She said Remus came to get her from the Astronomy Tower though.” Marlene wondered how things would be between James and her friend next year. She knew it was wishful thinking, but she hoped Lily would have it in her heart to put the past aside. 

\---------

After dinner, Lily joined Remus and Marlene in the common room, thanking them both for saving her growling stomach by bringing food. They went to work quizzing each other for Transfiguration, happy that it was their last exam and they would soon be finished for the summer. 

A little before curfew, Mary came through the portrait hole, and immediately Lily knew something was up. Her face was filled with loathing, something not often seen by her friends. She quickly walked over to the couch the three 6th years occupied and looked at Lily. 

“Ummm...Lily. Snape’s outside the portrait hole, says he won’t leave and he’ll sleep out there…” She broke off, unsure of what else to say. 

“Merlin’s beard, does he have to be so dramatic?” _He really is clingy and needy._

“Do you want me to make him go away, Lils?” Asked Marlene. 

“No, I probably should talk to him. I wouldn’t want him sleeping on the cold ground,” she said sarcastically. 

Lily squared her shoulders and flicked her red plait from her shoulder, as if preparing for battle. Which, really, she felt an awful lot like she was. She walked over to the portrait hole with annoyance, which she opened and saw Snape standing against the wall across from the Fat Lady. 

“Go on then, out with it.” She said this with a glare that could pierce anyone straight through their heart and perhaps a little more force than necessary, but she wanted to be sure that he would detect the anger in her voice. Lily prided herself on being sympathetic, but at this point, she couldn’t care less. 

“I’m sorry,” was all he said. 

She stared at him for a second, waiting to see if he would continue. When he didn’t, she let out an annoyed huff.

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry!” 

“Save your breath! I only came out here because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.” She didn’t know what was worse, his stalkerish tendencies fully coming to the surface, or the fact that he really thought a simple sorry would get her forgiveness. 

“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you a Mudblood, it just--”

“Slipped out?” At this, Lily decided she was finished hearing his excuses and began to say all the things she had been thinking that afternoon. “It’s too late. I have given you so many chances, chances my other friends don’t think you ever deserved, chances I even regret giving you. You can go off to your Death Eater friends, we both know that’s what you're aiming for, isn’t it.” Snape blanched at this, but didn’t try denying what she knew was the truth. “I’m not going to tolerate a hidden friendship anymore. Have you ever thought that if you have to hide being friends with me from your other friends, there is a problem? I’m no longer going to _let_ you tell me what to do.” 

She turned to leave, but looked over her shoulder when she heard Severus say, “Wait, listen. I-I didn’t mean to. Potter--Black--” 

She turned fully back around, knowing her anger was about to boil over. “Stop it, Severus. Don’t blame this on other people. We both know what you meant. You call everyone of my birth Mudblood. How am I any different from Mary MacDonald. The only difference is that you’ve decided you want to keep me as your pet. Your filthy pet mudblood to show all of your Death Eater friends. _You_ chose to use that word. You chose to get involved in the Dark Arts. Potter and Black didn’t make that choice for you, so stop acting like it’s anyone’s fault but your own. You’ve chosen your way and I’ve chosen mine. I’m no longer going to pretend not to see it. I’ve had enough.” 

At that she muttered the password to the Fat Lady and stormed into the common room. She saw the inquisitive looks on her three friends’ faces, but knew she needed to stew alone. As she gathered up her things, she turned to the three and said, “feel free to hex him if he gets in your way.” She said a quick goodnight before rushing up the staircase to her dorm and flung herself on her bed. 

As she finally let the tears roll down her cheeks, Lily Evans thought of the past seven years and mourned the loss of her friend. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the scene with Lily and Severus, some lines are taken directly from Deathly Hallows.


	2. Guarded

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter 2! It's on the shorter side, but it mostly serves as a transition chapter. Let me know if you have any feedback :)

_One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven._

It was three in the morning and Sirius Black could not sleep. His exams were finished, his trunk packed, and he was stuffed from the absurd amount of sweets he ate at the end of year feast. Hufflepuff had won the house cup, with Gryffindor in third, probably due to the sizable amount of points he lost them in February when he stupidly almost got Snape killed. He groaned at the thought and rolled onto his side, restarting his counting, hoping he could have one last peaceful night of sleep. _Well, that is, if I can even fall asleep._

He had already tried listing constellations, reciting potion ingredients, and now he was staring into the dark room, attempting to tire himself by counting. It seemed as though nothing would allow him to fall asleep, not even turning into Padfoot and letting the dog’s more passive brain take over. His mind was full of thoughts about arranged marriages, Death Eaters, and a certain rumor flying about the castle that he knew was somewhat based in truth. He found himself most worried about the latter, because despite being able to stifle it before becoming too out of hand, he was terrified of what would happen if they made their way to his mother and father. 

He knew he should have been more careful. That he shouldn’t have been snogging blokes in broom cupboards where anyone could find him. Of course it had to be Snape that opened the door, he could practically see the curl of his lips when he looked at him with disgust. 

He looked over at Moony’s bed and sighed, knowing how much the events of February’s full moon took place because of his broom cupboard expeditions. He was almost tempted to wake his friend so he could have someone to keep him company, but he knew he friend would be making the next transformation alone, so Remus needed as much rest as possible. 

Eventually, he gave up on shutting off his mind and with a promise to himself that he would take a nap on the train, he quietly got out of bed and trudged down the staircase towards the common room. As he reached his destination, he saw a familiar redhead lying on one of the sofas, which caused a goofy grin to spread across his face. 

“Hey Red,” he said, strolling over. He lifted her legs from the cushions and sat down, placing them on his lap. 

“You know, I should be angry at you,” she replied, not looking up from the book she was reading. Guilt prickled his skin, but he quickly pushed it away. 

“Aww, but Redddd...where’s the fun in that?” He smiled at her until she shut her book and looked up at him with a huff. “Couldn’t sleep either?” He asked her.

Lily Evans was a known insomniac…well, at least _he_ knew this fact, he wasn’t sure if anyone else did. In 4th year, after her father died, Sirius found her in the common room on a night neither could sleep. It was an odd friendship, as Sirius was often on her bad side for various mischief making and hexing a certain Slytherin, but at night the two were able to find common ground as they discussed their families and siblings. 

“So, what’s bothering you?” She asked, likely knowing that he was awake for a reason. 

He looked into the crackling fire before he answered, not wanting to look into her emerald eyes that always seemed to get the truth out of him. “Why do you think something’s bothering me?” He had never told her the specifics of his home life, other than the fact that his family were blood purists that hated him and his brother was slipping further into the trenches of the Dark Arts. And he was fairly certain she knew nothing about the rumor that was currently threatening his livelihood. At least, he hoped she didn’t. 

“I just do.” She said this with such sincerity that he sighed with admission, knowing it might feel better to just tell her.

“Well--there’s this rumor.” He wasn’t sure how much he should tell her. _Lily wouldn’t judge you, she knows about Remus liking guys and girls._ But he couldn’t risk anything getting out and even though he knew she wouldn’t tell anyone, it was a risk he wasn’t going to take. “It started towards the beginning of term. I’m just worried about it reaching my parents’ ears.” 

“So this rumor, it would make your parents really upset?”

“Yeah, but I’m sure it will be fine. I think I snuffed it out pretty quickly. I only think it got to a few Slytherins.” He looked at her face, wondering what her reaction would be at the mention of her ex-mate’s house. But instead of anger or disgust, he could see the gears in her mind working, and he began to wonder if she knew what the rumor was. He quickly changed the subject, poking her leg and inquiring why she was still awake at such an unreasonable hour. 

“Just thinking about the summer...it’s going to be a lot different this time around. Won’t have Sev or Petunia, but at least I’ll be going to Marlene’s for a week in August.” 

They chatted about their respective families and summer plans until it was nearly 5 in the morning and they both grew tired. As he was about to trek up to his dormitory, Lily tugged on his arm and drew him into a tight hug. When he first came to Hogwarts, he had flinched at any physical contact and was always surprised when Prongs embraced him, but there were certain people in his life that could ease his worries with a simple hug. 

“Be careful this summer. And promise you’ll write to me if you need anything?”

“Yeah, Red, I promise.” At this she let go of him and looked into his grey eyes, probably trying to make sure he was telling the truth. “Give Petunia hell.” 

Her face broke into a grin and she chuckled, leaving him standing at the foot of his staircase.

Feeling mollified by their talk, he made his way to his awaiting bed, and passed out as soon as his head hit the pillows. 

\--------

“Lily, have you told your family much about the war?” 

Lily startled as though she had been half asleep and looked away from the compartment window to see Mary’s concerned face. 

“No, I don’t want them to worry too much. Have you told your parents?”

“No, I’m thinking about it though.” She was sitting on the Hogwarts Express with Lily and Marlene and her thoughts had been drifting to her parents since they left Hogsmeade.

“Did you ever tell them about Mulciber?” Lily asked, wrinkling her nose as she said the name. 

“No, I don’t think they would understand.” She felt strange not telling her parents, as she often told them every minute detail in her life. 

Usually, Mary MacDonald loved going home for the summer holidays, but now she was dreading looking at her mother and father’s faces and lying to them that everything was all right. 

“Do you think they would stop you from coming back to school if they knew?” Her best friend asked. She looked out at the window to watch the fields flying past so she wouldn’t have to see the concerned glances Marlene was giving her. It was hard for Marlene to understand what she was going through, no matter how much she tried explaining it. She felt in limbo between two worlds, unsure which one she really belonged in. And even though Lily was also muggle-born, it was different for her too. It always seemed to Mary that Lily knew her exact place in the world, whereas Mary still wasn’t sure. 

“I don’t know,” was her only reply to Marlene’s question. She couldn’t imagine not walking through the corridors with the other girls, spending time by the lake on the beautiful grounds, or helping Kettleburn with the magical creatures. But she also wasn’t sure if she would be able to return home once she left Hogwarts- she knew that her parents could be at risk because of her blood status. 

“I’m sure we’ll figure out what to tell them, Mare,” Lily said with reassurance in her voice. It did little to ease her worries, but she dropped the conversation, instead choosing to focus on enjoying the time she had with her friends until they reached the platform. 

After passing time flicking through a copy of _Witch Weekly,_ laughing with the other girls, and telling stories from the past year, Mary left for the loo as they would be arriving at King’s Cross soon. 

She made her way down the train, narrowly missing a fanged frisbee to the head that was being thrown by some rambunctious first years. 

She was leaving the loo in the direction of her compartment when she felt a hand grasp her shoulder. The offending hand spun her around and when she who it was, she stepped back, schooling her face into a deep scowl. 

“Mulciber,” she spat. “Piss off.”

“What, you didn’t want to see me before we left for the summer? You are a mudblood whore, after all.”

She tapped her middle finger to her thumb, a motion she used to calm herself and placate her temper. 

She had been shaken and different ever since his attempted attack in the fall, but she didn’t want to let him see her fear. “You don’t know anything about me, now leave before I leave you sobbing for your mummy.” 

She knew her hand was about to start shaking, so she didn’t wait for a response, and instead turned with a flick of her dark brown hair, heading back to her compartment where the girls were waiting for her. 

\---------

James glanced down at his best mate, who was currently stretched across the seat, sleeping with his head in James’ lap. The boys had spent most of the train ride playing exploding snap, talking about new ways to prank Filch, and enjoying the last moments the four were together before going home. 

Even though Padfoot didn’t say anything about it, James knew something was bothering him. At first, he wasn’t surprised by how quiet Sirius had gotten that morning, since it was fairly normal for him on days they were going home. But as the train got closer to reaching King’s Cross, he sensed something different from his friend. He seemed afraid and paranoid. He was just glad his friend was spending the last part of the journey sleeping, something that didn’t happen easily for him. 

James looked up at his other friends and saw Remus also watching Sirius, but with an odd look in his amber eyes. “You okay, Moony?” 

Remus startled as if woken from a trance and James wondered if he had actually been staring off into space, rather than specifically looking at Sirius. 

“Oh...yeah, all good. I just worry about him when he goes home, you know?”

James did know. He never managed to fully figure out the details of what home life was like for Sirius, but he knew it wasn’t good. Even though they didn’t talk about it, he had seen the scars and he feared that one day his friend wouldn’t come back. James was a touchy friend by nature and loved showing the other boys affection, but by now the Marauders knew to give Sirius time to adjust after time spent with his family, rather than immediately bombarding him with hugs. 

“Just one more summer,” Wormtail spoke up. “It’s his last one and then he’s free.” 

James nodded, but exchanged a quick glance with Remus, both acknowledging that anything could happen through the course of a summer at the Black house.

“All right, Wormy. Let’s see who can build the tallest Exploding Snap tower!”

The three boys spent the rest of the train ride carefully handling the cards, until the Hogwarts Express screeched to a stop, effectively destroying the tower and waking Sirius.

The Marauders collected their trunks and made their way to the nearest door. They stepped onto the platform and James flung his arm around Sirius. Remus and Peter faced them, both suspecting what Prongs was about to say. 

“Okay Pads,” he said as he looked at Sirius with a smile. “This is the last time. Keep your head down, try to avoid trouble, and remember to check in with us once in a while. You have the mirror, yeah?”

“Yes mum,” Sirius replied sarcastically. 

“Sirius--” Remus started. 

“I know, I know. I’ll behave. You lads can stop looking at me like I’m walking to my coffin,” he said. With a final wave, he began walking towards Walburga Black and then looked over his shoulder, calling, “See you in September! Don’t have too much fun without me.” 

James watched Walburga place a claw-like hand on both of her sons and with a pop, they were gone. 

\---------

The Potters and Pettigrews had already left, but Remus still stood near the train, looking at the empty spot the Blacks disapparated from. He wondered if the aching in his chest would ever go away or if it would eventually eat away at him. 

“Cariad,” Hope Lupin said, turning his attention to where his mother was standing with his father a few paces behind her. “Are you ready to go?” 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Let’s go home.”


	3. Home for the Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I found myself with some free time and nothing really to do so I decided to jump back into this chapter. I found this one kind of hard because everyone is apart and I'm still introducing the characters and what they are like. Honestly, when I first started writing this chapter a few weeks ago, I was going to abandon it, but it was nice to come back to it today with a fresh perspective! Again, I'm not super serious about this story- it's just a way for me to work on creative writing and have some fun.

At three years old, a grey-eyed little boy experienced his first hex. He spilled food on his dress robes during dinner with an important pure-blood family and when the guests left, he received a slash on his forearm from his mother. After letting him cry for a few minutes, she healed him and told him she did it to benefit his future. He believed her, not realizing it would be the first of many. 

At seven years old, he protected his five year old brother from getting his first hex. Although the two looked almost identical, his brother was usually more well behaved than him, because after years of seeing the elder punished for his playful personality, he knew how to play a part for his mother and father. When the grey-eyed boy saw his little brother’s ball smash into a glass cabinet, he knew what was coming. As their father raised his wand, he pushed his brother behind him and took the blame. 

At twelve, he returned from his first year of school and upon stepping through the threshold to the family home, felt welts burst across his back. They didn’t heal him and instead gave him a lecture on ‘Toujours Pur’ and what it meant to be a true Black. 

Now, at sixteen, Sirius Black was well acquainted with looking down his parents’ wands, and his back and arms were ridden with scars to remind him of their favorite hexes. In all the years of hexes and verbal abuse, he never tried to avoid their punishments. He already knew he was the outsider of the family- there was no point in trying to change who he was. As he grew, he realized how to make the Black blood boil with anger and turned his own anger and recklessness towards his parents, uncaring about the consequences of his actions, no matter the harm that came to him. Once he came to terms with the fact that he would never live up to his parents expectations, he threw any self preservation out the window and revelled in the moments he could get under his parents’ skin. 

This summer was different, though. His friends were right, one last summer and then he was done with the Blacks. One last summer and he was free. If he could just make it two months without too many arguments, he could go back to Hogwarts with his true family where he belonged. 

He looked up at what was deemed his home, and thought that it had not felt like home in many, many years. He could not remember the last time he had looked forward to returning to Grimmauld Place or seeing any of his family. _Well, perhaps Andy and Reg are the exceptions._ He wished he could be at Hogwarts, in his dorm with the other Marauders, rather than in this stuffy house that practically crushed his soul. _One last summer._

Walburga and Regulus Black entered the London townhouse ahead of him and walked through the entryway of their ancestral home, without uttering a single word to him. In fact, they had not said anything to him nor looked in his direction upon leaving the platform, which he reckoned was good, as he would rather be ignored than screamed at. _It will come soon enough._

He sighed and walked up the front steps and stood in the doorway reminding himself of the words James told him a mere minute ago. _Keep your head down. Avoid trouble._

He repeated it like his mantra as he walked through the entryway. He took in the ugly, old wallpaper, pondering how he went eleven years in this place without truly questioning his upbringing. _Keep your head down. Avoid trouble._

He trudged up the stairs and grimaced at the sight of the elf heads. _Keep your head down. Avoid trouble._

Finally, he made it to the top floor and stood between the two bedroom doors. He turned towards Regulus’ and lifted his hand to knock, but after a moment’s hesitation, changed his mind, and instead pushed his door open. There was a chill in the air, but he was happy to see that none of the Black residents could remove any of the posters or Gryffindor banners he had hung up a few summers ago. As he flopped onto his bed, he chuckled to himself thinking about the irony of the muggle girls on the posters that made his mother so angry. 

_This is going to be a long summer._

\--------

“Is Petunia home?” Lily asked her mother. She swept her shoulder length hair into a pony-tail as she stepped out of the family car and marveled at how hot Cokeworth had already gotten now that it was the end of June. It wasn’t odd that Petunia hadn’t been at the platform to pick her up, but she couldn’t help but be disappointed, especially after the rubbish end of year she had. 

“She’s with Vernon,” her mother, Elaine, responded. Although her mum would never say so, Lily could tell she was not the biggest fan of this so-called “Vernon.” Lily had yet to meet him, and had heard only snippets about him in her mum’s letters, as Petunia had fully stopped responding to her letters in fourth year, and even before then, Lily could tell from the clipped letters that they were forced by her mother and father. 

“So...when do I get to meet him?” She asked casually as she pulled her owl, Elizabeth, of the car. She looked at her mum expectantly, knowing it was a loaded question. _Did she have any desire to meet Petunia’s boyfriend? Not really. Did she want to try to make amends with her sister? Kind of._ This summer Lily was determined to play nice...though, knowing Petunia, it could get difficult. They hadn’t been close since she started at Hogwarts, but their rift had only increased after the death of their father last year. Elaine was doing her best to ease tensions between the two, but her father had always been the best at getting Petunia and Lily to understand each other. 

“I’m not sure, dear. He’s been over to dinner a few times. But you know how Petunia is…” She drifted off and Lily didn’t have to guess what her mum was meaning by that statement. Petunia hated anything to do with magic, so she basically hated Lily. If she told her boyfriend she had a sister at all, it would be a miracle. 

Lily sighed in resignation, and instead turned her attention to being home with her mum. After all, this was only one of two summers she had left in the muggle world before she graduated, so she had to make the most of it. She looped her arm through her mum’s, pulling her into the house as she said, “It’s good to be home, mum.” 

\---------

Mary’s worries were almost immediately gone the moment she stepped into her father’s arms on the platform. Now that they were home, though, she was pretty certain her parents could sense something wasn’t right. Mae and Joseph MacDonald were both teachers and had a knack for sensing when kids, specifically their kid, was lying to them. Mary couldn’t think of a time she had successfully kept a secret from her parents- even in her letters home to them she couldn’t manage. Therefore, when Mary sat down at the kitchen table and started telling them all about her year, she knew they thought she was leaving something out. 

“...and then at the end of the year Professor Kettleburn said I could start helping out outside of classes!” She was telling them, trying to ignore the inquisitive looks they were giving her. 

“Anything else? What’s going on with your friends? Anything exciting happening in your world?” Her mum asked her as she set a bowl of naengmyeon in front of Mary. 

_Should I tell them now? Nah...I can wait a little._ She wanted to tell them what was going on with the maniac blood purists and she desperately wanted the warmth that always came with her parents’ level-headed reassurance, but she knew this was something they weren’t ready to face. 

“Nothing much,” was all she said before digging into the cold soup. “Mmm...thanks Mum, I missed this.” They knew she was trying to change the topic, but she would rather wait until she could really get her thoughts in order.

“We missed you, Mary,” said her father. 

\---------

As soon as Marlene stepped through the door of the McKinnon’s Falmouth home, she was tackled. 

“Welcome home, Marley!”

She rolled over in a huff and pinned her attacker to the ground and after looking into his blue eyes, laughed. “Jake! What are you doing here?” Jacob McKinnon was the brother closest in age to her and he was about to start his last year of Auror training. 

“Welcoming you home, of course!” 

“Don’t you have training?” 

“Nah, got off early today.”

“Hmmm...care to tell me why?”

“Nope,” he replied with a pop of the ‘p.’ 

“Fine, well I’m glad you’re here.” She had only seen her brother briefly over the Christmas holidays, as he was usually swept up in his training and too busy to come home often. Since he had graduated Hogwarts, breaks could get somewhat lonely with just her parents as company. “Do you fancy a game of Quidditch?” She asked her sometimes overly rambunctious brother.

“I’d like to see you try and beat me,” he teased.

“Too bad I don’t have a bludger with me...I would do just that.”

“Hah! You missed me, Marley! Come on then, out to the yard with you!”

\---------

“James. James. James. JAMES!”

“What?” James spun around to face his parents who were looking at him with bewildered faces from the couch they perched on in the sitting room of Potter Manor. “Sorry, dad, what’d ya say?”

“I asked you to tell us about the Quidditch final.”

“Oh, yeah--my bad, I have a lot on my mind,” he muttered as he rubbed his hair sheepishly. He sat down next to his parents and suddenly wondered if they were going to grill him about what he was thinking about. Euphemia and Fleamont Potter were certainly the parents to do just that. 

Sure enough, his mum responded with a quip, “If you are too distracted to hear the word Quidditch, I would most definitely say you have a lot on your mind.” 

His dad laughed at this, but then asked his son, “Well, tell us, what’s going on up there?”

Now James wasn’t sure what to say. Should he tell them about Sirius and Evans and Remus and all the other things he was worried about? There were too many things floating about in his head. Sirius was stuck in that soul sucking house, Evans probably hated every bone in his body, and Remus was about to go through a transformation without the other Marauders, something he hadn’t done in such a long time! It wouldn’t do any good to talk about Sirius much, they couldn’t really do anything about the Blacks. Explaining his situation with Evans would do him no good, his mum would just laugh at him and probably tell him the same thing Remus did. He could absolutely not tell them about Remus- sure, his parents didn’t seem to detest werewolves, but that wasn’t his secret to tell. 

_Drat. What do I tell them?_

“Ummm--umm--I suppose I just wish Sirius was here with us is all. You know how much he hates going home.” 

“I’m sure Sirius will be just fine,” Euphemia said sternly. James knew his mum regarded Sirius as a second son and she was likely just as worried as he was, even if she didn’t show it too much. “He’ll be out of that dreadful house in no time and with us again before you know it.”

James knew he should listen to his mum, Euphemia Potter always seemed to be right, but in this case, he knew she was trying to reassure herself as much as him and he couldn’t help but let his mind wander to the shaggy haired boy living in Grimmauld Place. 

\---------

Full moons at home were always worse. 

Even before his three troublesome friends turned into animagi, the full moons spent in his little house in Hogsmeade were relatively better than those in the cellar at his home in Wales. 

When Remus went home for the winter holidays after his first term at Hogwarts, he had almost forgotten he would be spending his transformation in the tiny dark room, until he walked down the stairs on the night of the full moon. His transformations weren’t easy one way or the other, but in the shack he had more space to roam and furniture to scratch at. He still scratched and tore up his body, but in the cellar he was surrounded by nothing but darkness. 

It was only a week into summer holidays, but Remus was already full of dread. Ever since he came back from Hogwarts he tried to avoid looking at the cellar door, but now he couldn’t take his eyes off it. He was sitting with his mother and father at the kitchen table, too distracted by the moon that would be rising in an hour to eat any of his food. 

“Please eat something,” Hope Lupin pleaded, “You know you need your strength.” 

“I’m nauseous, Mum. I’ll eat in the morning.” He could feel the little food he ate rolling about in his stomach, not due to his lycanthropy, but because of his nerves. Usually, he forced himself to eat his meal for his mum’s sake- Hope had always felt guilty that she couldn’t do anything more for him- but on nights like these, he couldn’t even try. He glanced over at the cellar door and sighed, wishing he had the other Marauders with him.

“I think I’ll just go down now,” he whispered. He always preferred to sit in the darkness for an hour or so rather than look at his mum’s despondent face and his dad’s stone demeanor. 

He opened the door and stood on the steps so he could shed his clothes and then hand them to his mum. She kept the door open a crack while she softly said, “I love you, cariad. I’m right here.” He could hear the sorrow in her voice and the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. For not the first time, he sat on the cold, stone floor and wondered how his mum had the strength to stay all these years when she, as a muggle, could easily slip back into regular society and leave her burdensome son behind. He thought about the stag, dog, and rat and wondered what they were doing. Perhaps they were also feeling the pull of the moon...maybe it was becoming a part of them now too since they were part of the wolf’s pack. 

There were no windows in the cellar for him to see the sky, but after what must have been an hour he let out a loud cry and his body began to shift. His nails lengthened until they were claws and he scratched at himself while his teeth grew sharp and the rest of his body changed until he was the wolf. The wolf let out a howl, as if calling for his pack, and the long night began. 

When Remus came to the next morning, he immediately felt immense pain shuddering throughout his entire body. He struggled to open his eyes, but when he finally did he gagged at the sight before him. He was laying on the cold cellar floor with a pool of his own blood drying around him. He moved to push himself up, but immediately fell back down with a gasp of pain. He looked down to find the source and saw a large gash in his side as well as on his left leg. At the sight of the skin flaps, he nearly vomited, but managed to keep it down. He didn’t want to create any larger mess for his parents. His father always waited until an hour after sunrise to undo the protective charms placed on the cellar and come for him, so he had no idea how long he would be waiting. He was relieved that werewolves had accelerated healing, so despite the fact that his wounds would leave scars, he wasn’t too concerned about bleeding out or getting infected before his parents came for him. 

He closed his eyes, allowing tears he didn’t know he was holding in to fall as he once again thought of his three friends who helped him for so many moons. 

\---------

_Tap_

_Tap_

_Tap_

Lily stirred in her bed, angrily pushed the pile of blankets off her face, rubbed the sleep out of her eyes, and looked over at her clock. _Who the bloody hell is owling me at 9 in the morning?_

She had been in Cokeworth for nearly two weeks, and the only people she had owled were Mary and Marlene, to set up their visit to Marlene’s house in August and Remus, who she exchanged a few letters with a couple days ago. She couldn’t think of anyone who would likely owl her in the morning, seeing as all of her friends knew she was absolutely not a morning person, especially during the summer holidays. 

She was tempted to roll over, shove her head under a pillow and ignore the damn owl, but she knew Petunia would have her head if she did, so she resigned herself to a possible early morning and let out an angry huff. 

Lily glanced over at her window, ready to glare at the offending owl, when she was caught by surprise. There was no owl. But there it was again. The same little, annoying noise that roused her from her divine slumber. 

_Tap._

_Tap._

Pebbles. Someone was throwing pebbles at her window. 

She threw off her covers, angrily got out of bed, and marched over to the window as graciously as she could at 9 in the morning. As soon as she pulled apart the curtains, a beam of sunlight hit her right in the face, causing her to blink incredulously for a few moments before she could properly make out the figure standing beneath her window in the flower garden. 

_Snape. Bloody hell._

She sent him the most furious look she could muster and drew her curtains to a close. As she shuffled back to her bed, she heard him quietly hiss, “Lily, please.”

What she did next was not something she was entirely proud of and in her brief moment of contemplation Lily had a sudden image come to mind of McGonagall telling her to act lady-like and prefectly. But all acquainted with Lily already knew, she was not a morning person. And Snape should have known this far better than any others. And so she went back to her window, pushed open her curtains, shoved up the glass a crack, and yelled in her meanest voice, “DON’T COME BACK HERE AND DON’T BLOODY WAKE ME UP AGAIN!”

And with that, she was back in bed, hoping she didn’t disturb her mother and sister, but knowing full well she did. 

\--------

“Ummm...hello...are you Marlene?”

Marlene McKinnon opened her eyes in surprise at the sudden voice speaking to her. She was currently laying in her front yard, soaking in the summer heat and trying to defeat her boredom. She wasn’t doing a very good job, as barely any time had passed in the summer holidays, and she was already lonely and running out of ideas of ways to spend her days. 

She shielded her eyes from the sun so she could get a better look at the girl standing over her, but made no other movement from her spot.

“Yeah, that’s me. Who are you?”

“Oh, well...I’m Arden. Arden Beaufort,” The girl said with a start as though she wasn’t the one who had approached Marlene. The blonde girl was suddenly intrigued and so she pulled herself up off the yard, dusting the stray grass off her legs as she began observing the other girl. The so-called Arden was shorter than Marlene, with tanned skin, olive, green eyes, curly brown hair with hints of blonde that licked the ends, and though she seemed as if she might be shy, Marlene thought she sensed a sort of defiance to the girl. _She’s kind of cute._

Only then, did Marlene realize Arden had still been talking. She had been caught up in observing the girl and her mannerisms, completely missing what she was saying. Again, she started zoning out as Arden began moving her hands along with her words, occasionally pushing a stray curl behind her ear. _Snap out of it, Marlene!_

“...just moved here this spring when we were still at Hogwarts. You probably don’t really know me, I’m in Hufflepuff, but the same year as you--,” she broke off, looking up at Marlene to say something, who was still trying to escape the maze of her thoughts. 

Marlene was usually never someone who lacked anything to say, in fact, some might say she spoke without thinking. However, as she stood in front of the shorter girl, she felt like time Sirius Black cast a silencio charm on her. She racked her brain for something to say to the girl when she saw her broomstick abandoned on the grassy lawn. “Do you like to fly?”

At this, Arden’s face broke into a smile. “Oh, yeah...that’s actually why I came over here! I’ve seen you flying the past couple of weeks and I wanted to know if I could join you sometime? You see, I don’t have any siblings, so it would be great to have someone to hang out with.”

Marlene wasn’t sure what it was about the other girl, but she knew she wanted to keep her around. 

“You bet. Why don’t you go grab your broom and meet me back here.”

\---------

~~_Dear Lily,_ ~~

~~_Dear Evans,_ ~~

~~_Evans,_ ~~

_July 15th, 1976_

_Hey Evans!_

_Before you do anything,_ _please_ _do not tear, burn, or maim this letter in any way, shape, or form. Please at least read the entirety of it before doing any of the above._

_I know I’m likely the last person you wanted to hear from during your summer holiday, but I wanted to apologize for what happened at the end of the year- and since I’m writing this, a lot of other times before that. Remus told me to give you some space before writing you and since Remus knows you the best, I thought I should take his advice for once in my life. Lily, I am really, really sorry. I know I took things too far with Snape. I shouldn’t have picked on you and him so much in the past. ~~Even though Snape can be a foul git.~~ I’ve been thinking a lot about my past actions and you’re right- I am “an arrogant, bullying, toerag.” I started pranking and joking around to get people to laugh and if I'm being completely honest, the past year or so was to get you to notice me. I realize now that what I’ve been doing has just been cruel and senseless. I know it is very unlikely that you will forgive me, but I really hope you will see this year that I am going to try to change for the better. I hope that one day we could even call each other friends? _

_Enjoy your holidays,_

_James Potter_

James looked at his finished letter, wondering if sending it was the best idea. He could always just wait until they went back to school and let his actions speak for themselves. But no, if he really wanted Lily to forgive him and see him the way the other Marauders did, he had to apologize. He carefully folded the parchment and wrote her name on the back before tying it to his owl. With a simple “good luck,” he opened his bedroom window and let Godric soar into the darkening sky.

So far his summer holiday had given him a lot of time to think. Sirius wasn’t answering the mirror much and Remus and Peter had only come over once, so James spent most of his time sitting on his broom with only the clouds and his thoughts as company. He had already come to quite a few realizations about himself. Most notably, it was time for him to start acting more mature. Sure, pranks were fun, but Lily was right- there was a line between a prank and bullying. James hadn’t fully realized how far he had gone over the line until he was being screamed at in the face. Or perhaps it was the reality that war was coming that truly made him accept this fact. He would be lying if he didn’t notice the weary looks on Euphemia and Fleamont Potter’s faces every time _The Daily Prophet_ arrived. Yes, the world could use more laughter and he wasn't planning on changing that part of him, but what was the point in making a lot of people laugh if it pushed a select few further into the darkness?

His only hope was that Lily Evans might just give him one more chance. 


	4. A Day in the Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: reference to depression
> 
> I wasn't sure what to title this chapter, but I didn't want to just call it "chapter 4"
> 
> Enjoy :)

“James Potter wrote to you? And apologized? We’re talking about the same person, right? 6th year Gryffindor with a penchant for mischief?” Mary laughed into the phone as she lazily flopped her stomach down onto her messy bed. 

Her room reminded her of a puzzle with pieces that didn’t quite fit together correctly, but had nonetheless been shoved together by someone trying to make them form a picture. The walls were still the pale lilac color her ten year old self had picked out so many years ago and many of the decorations hung up were reminiscent of that last full year living at home before Hogwarts. But along with the childish items were various knickknacks shoved into every open space from the past years spent at Hogwarts and the summers she spent wandering into shops near her home. It was chaotic, messy, and sometimes overstimulating- very different from how Mary appeared to everyone but her closest friends. To her, however, it felt like a collection of her entire life, crammed into a four walled room. 

“Yes, Mary,” Lily replied so exasperatedly that Mary could clearly see the redhead’s face in her mind. “I’ve confirmed this fact six times already. However, since we both have nothing better to do, I will kindly regale you with the story one last time. There I was, one exquisite Lily Evans, digging into my second bowl of cereal when I heard a shriek from the living room. I would know that sound better than my own wand, which is why I happily continued eating my breakfast---”

“Lily, stop acting like you’re in a soap opera and get on with it,” Mary interrupted with a teasing tone. Her friend was right, Mary had nothing better to be doing until she was supposed to go to dinner with her parents, so she didn’t mind discussing her friend’s Potter issues, but she couldn’t resist a bit of teasing at Lily’s expense. She had been so relieved when she picked up the phone and it was Lily on the other end. Since both of them were muggle-borns, this was their usual form of communication during the summer, but Mary was also often busy with her parents, meaning she wasn’t always home to answer the phone unless it was at a scheduled time. She loved being in the muggle world for the summer, but without her friends, it wasn’t the same. Just like being in the wizarding world wasn’t the same without her parents. 

“Fine. Your loss, though,” Lily huffed. “Anyways, Petunia came into the kitchen yelling about flying rodents and blabbering about how she was surprised I even had friends who would write to me. That’s when I saw the owl and realized I didn’t recognize it. So I was immediately intrigued, right? But when I opened the letter and looked to see who signed it… lo and behold...James freaking Potter.”

Mary wasn’t entirely sure how to proceed in this particular conversation. Lily had always been prone to anger at the very mention of the mischievous boy with messy black hair and glasses. So on any normal day, she would avoid bringing him up in casual conversation, but today was odd. Her friend’s tone hadn’t once turned towards fierce rage and Potter’s name had been spoken at least ten times. 

“So….what do you think?” She asked carefully, hoping she wasn’t about to get ranted at through the speaker. Instead, she was met with a long silence. 

“Lily….hellooooo….earth to Lily Evans….are you there?”

“Geez, give a girl some time to think. I wonder if he is actually going to stop bullying people. Or if he was just saying that because he knows it's what I want to hear. And who does he think he’s kidding...saying he was trying to get me to notice him? It’s not like he actually likes me- he just likes pushing my buttons and getting attention!”

“Hmmm, I’m not sure, but I know one thing. I have never heard the likes of James Potter apologize to anyone he has pranked or made fun of. And he apologized about Snape? You know those two are sworn enemies. And maybe he started off bothering you just for the fun of it, but I think you might want to reconsider the possibility that he actually has feelings for you.” She wasn’t too interested in Potter, she mostly knew him as a fellow housemate who could be annoying at times, but was good at school and Quidditch. Nevertheless, she wouldn’t be the first to say she would be thrilled if the constant arguing between her friend and the bespeckled boy would finally come to an end. 

“Hmmm...do you think I’ve been a little hard on him over the years? I gave Severus way more chances than he deserved--perhaps Potter should get one more too.”

At this, Mary was drawn more fully into the conversation and replied, “You’re right. You gave Snape too many second chances...but Lily, just because you gave him all those chances, it doesn’t automatically mean you have to do the same for James. Don’t forget that.”

“I won’t, I suppose we’ll just see how he is when we go back to school. Oh, Mary, I was thinking about getting a job at the ice cream parlour in town to keep busy. What do you think, should I do it?”

\---------

Lily said her goodbyes to Mary with a promise to call again before seeing her in August. As soon as the phone was hung up on the living room wall, she heard the unmistakable sound of Petunia making her way down the stairs from her bedroom. She appeared at the bottom of the steps, a sour expression on her face and a hand on her hip. Lily inwardly groaned, detecting her sister’s foul mood and made to move past her up the stairs to her own bedroom- the only safe haven she had from her infuriating sibling. However, Petunia simply stood in her way, as though she was the gatekeeper of the house.

She looked down at Lily with disgust and spat, “Finally. You know, I’ve been waiting to call Yvonne all day. It’s rude of you to come home just to disrupt our routine and hog everything in the house.” 

Lily rolled her eyes, knowing where this was going and although she wanted to avoid a chaotic fight, she could already feel her hot temper boiling to the surface. “Petunia, I was on the phone for one hour. How is that disrupting your routine? There are plenty of other times you can call Yvonne that aren’t the exact same time I’m talking to Mary.” 

Petunia ignored her question and continued in her rant, still blocking Lily’s path up the stairs. “Just because mum is at work, it doesn’t mean you get to rule the house. We live here the rest of the year just fine without you! You're lucky we let you come back at all. Everything would be so much more peaceful if you just stayed at the awful school.”

Petunia could say what she wanted, but Lily didn’t care. Gone were the days when she tried to make peace with her sister. Gone were the days when she would follow the older girl blindly into any situation. And gone were the days when she looked forward to coming to the house she called home. Looking into Petunia’s cold, mean eyes, it was hard for her to believe they had ever really been the best of friends. 

Trying to avoid any more confrontation because she was already in a grumpy mood due to her perpetually bad sleep schedule, Lily slipped on her nearest shoes, a pair of ratty sandals, stuffed Potter’s letter in her back pocket, and walked out the door into the summer heat. She turned on to the sidewalk and began walking aimlessly in the direction of the old mill in the distance. Severus had always despised the mill- he said it represented everything bad about Cokeworth- a town filled with people who usually never left. Usually her summers were spent with him at the nearby playground where they had first met, with the two of them catching the Knight Bus for an occasional trip to Diagon Alley. The last two summers she had gone to Marlene’s for a week, but that wasn’t for another month. As she wiped a pool of sweat off her forehead, she remembered her conversation with Mary and decided to change her course. 

\---------

Peter popped another jellybean in his mouth, only to immediately spit it out. “Dirt,” he said casually as he looked up from his spot against the wall to where his friend was laying on a four poster bed. 

To outsiders, he was somewhat of an enigma. Surrounded by his fellow Marauders, there didn’t seem to be much holding him within their tightly wound web. Those outside the little group often misjudged him for someone who just happily followed the three around and added nothing of true importance to their dynamic. He was perfectly fine letting them make those assumptions about him, because they let him float through life without expectation and really, as long as he had the support of the other boys, he felt able to ignore what others thought of him. The truth was, however, Peter Pettigrew was much more than he let on. His mind was not as bright as the others, a fact he knew to be true about himself from the very beginning of first year when the three boys rose to the top of their classes, but it was filled with curiosity and a thirst for knowledge, especially when it came with a reward at the end, such as the glee of seeing a prank performed without a hitch or the look on Remus’s face whenever they turned into their animagus forms. He had lots of thoughts and questions circulating in his brain, but unless in the right company, he lacked the confidence to let them turn into spoken words.

Peter was a frequent visitor at the Potter Manor during the summer holidays, a much better way to pass the time than hanging around his mum and sisters in the summer heat. Some days, Remus was with them and if the Marauders were really lucky, Padfoot would be allowed to spend time at his pureblood friend’s house. Often enough, though, Peter found himself just in James’s company doing nothing in particular other than lounging in various places around the house and lawn. Today was one such day and with the weather too dry for Quidditch to be any fun, James instead decided to try to contact his other half. 

“Padfoot?” James whispered into a small mirror that he was holding above his face. “Come on, Sirius, answer already!”

Peter said nothing, because, he thought, if Sirius had not answered Prongs’s many calls already, they would likely not hear from him until they were on the Hogwarts Express. It did no good to tell James this, for he thought it would only cause his friend more worry. 

It wasn’t that he wasn’t concerned about the happenings at Grimmauld Place, he was, but he didn’t understand how sitting around moping about it would do anyone any good. If anything, he would prefer to push it to the back of his mind until they really had to come face to face with the situation. After all, hadn’t Sirius returned after every other holiday break? 

Peter hefted himself off the ground and strode over to the other side of the room. He tried to grab the mirror from Prongs, but was met with much protest and annoyance.

“Hey! What are you doing, Pete? I’m trying to get Sirius to answer.”

“Yeah and you’ve been doing that for the past fifteen minutes. Let’s go do something. What about the Leaky Cauldron? Fancy a butterbeer?” Peter hoped this would work, as his patience was waning and he was almost thinking that being home with his family would be better than this. James pinched his eyebrows in thought for a moment, but eventually relented, carefully placing the mirror into his back pocket.

“Alright, butterbeer it is then.”

\---------

Mary flipped through the pages of her worn copy of  _ Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them _ for the second time since speaking to Lily. It was one of her most read books, having been filled with extensive notes and drawings, with small amounts of dirt blending in with the smudges of ink. Her cat, Greta, was curled up at the foot of her bed, quietly purring and creating a near perfect ambiance for the summer afternoon. Mary looked wistfully out her window, wondering how quiet she would have to be to leave the house for a short hike without her parents insisting on going with her. 

As much as she loved spending time with her parents, Mae and Joseph MacDonald usually insisted on spending every spare moment with their daughter throughout the summer months. Finding time truly for herself was often a rarity and usually only happened when she was in nature or working with the magical creatures at Hogwarts. At his point, Marlene would likely remind her in a sarcastic tone that she was currently alone in her room, but she could practically hear the woods singing her name, as if the fairies from the Forbidden Forest had followed her all the way to Gloucestershire. 

Deciding she was in need of some fresh air, Mary pulled her slick, black hair into a pony-tail, slipped on her gym shoes, and crept out towards the front door. 

“Mary, is that you?” Her mother called from the kitchen. 

“Yeah, mum. I’m just going for a hike. I’ll be back in time for dinner.”

“Don’t you want us to come with you?” Her father chimed in.

She turned to face her parents where they were now positioned happily in the living room, eagerly waiting for her reply. It would be so easy to say a simple “no” and walk out the door, but she had never been able to refuse her parents. Looking at them now, she immediately felt guilty for trying to abandon them when they only saw her for a few months out of the year, and resigned with a forcefully cheerful, “yeah, I’d love for you to come along!” 

“Great! Ok, just let us grab our things...we’ll be really fast!”

Mary sighed, hoping she would find complete serenity at some point in her life.

\---------

She was immediately hit with a blast of cold air, making her stand for a moment too long in the doorway to fully feel it wash over her skin. The happy bell above her tinkled again as the door shut, catching her by surprise. Her friends always laughed at her when she did things like this, she thought nostalgically, never understanding why she spent so much time relishing in the small things in life. She looked around at the tiny store-front she had just walked into. The floors were a checkered pattern and the walls had a soft, pink trim that made her think of cotton candy at a carnival. She had been coming to the Cherry on Top ice cream parlour since she was little and vivid memories of her and her dad both licking double-fudge cones as they strolled around the neighbourhood washed over her with ease. 

A few days ago, Lily had noticed a flier in the grocery store that the parlour was looking for part time help for the rest of the summer. Hopefully, the position was still open, the red headed girl thought, as she was eager for something to keep her out of the house until September. 

She noticed a tall, dark-skinned boy about her age sitting behind the counter, scratching a pen across a scrap of paper. The parlour was fairly busy, with all the tables filled, so he hadn’t yet noticed her come in. She walked up to the familiar counter and peered over to see what the boy was doodling. 

Well, doodling did not seem to be the correct word for what the boy was doing, Lily quickly realized. On the paper was an incredibly drawn dragon- this black haired boy was an incredible artist. 

“Hey. That’s pretty cool.” She said, hoping he was friendly and not taken aback by her forwardness. 

She was in luck, because as soon as he heard her voice, his shoulders jerked back in surprise and he nearly toppled off his stool, but he broke into a huge smile and said, “Thanks! Umm, what can I get for you today?”

Lily fiddled with the hem of her blue tank top, briefly peering at the delicious looking ice cream. She could practically feel her mouth watering, but, as she reminded herself, she was on a mission. “Actually, I’m here about the part time job. Does it still need to be filled?” 

The boy’s eyebrows went up and for a brief moment Lily felt a wave of disappointment wash over her, but before she could think too much about it, he responded, “Yeah, I think so! Donald’s the manager. He wants to be able to take a few more days off. He’s in the back, I’ll go get him.”

He was a fast speaker, as though forcing all his words out at once, so before she knew it the boy had disappeared into the back room and Lily’s heart was soaring. She just might have a chance to escape Petunia’s wrath for a few hours each day! She turned to face the sitting area of the parlour and noticed a mother and father with two young girls who were sharing a sundae. She was immediately reminded of her own family and thought about the last time she had been here. It had been the summer before 4th year. All of the Evans had come the night of August 31st- one last thing to do before she went back to Hogwarts. She chuckled at the memory of her dad purposely getting chocolate all over his face and trying to kiss her mum, causing Petunia and Lily to share a rare laugh. She loved the way Petunia’s face lit up when she laughed- her real laugh, too, not the fake one she used around Yvonne and her other prim friends.

“Hello, nice to meet you. I’m Donald, as Eric told you, the manager and owner.”

A deep voice interrupted her thoughts, making Lily spin around and look up, realizing she was face to face with a burly but extremely kind looking man who seemed to be in his 60s. He stuck his hand out and looked at her, waiting.

She grabbed a hold of it with her much smaller one before her mind could wander down any other rabbit holes and said with excitement, “Pleasure to meet you! I’m Lily Evans. I saw a flier about the part time job. Are you still hiring?” He shook her hand with a firm grip and as he dropped it, she noticed part of a small, geometrical tattoo near his wrist. 

“Let me tell you, Miss Evans, I’m glad you came in when you did. I was losing hope that I would find another employee. Eric here is my nephew, so I can always count on him, but with this summer’s heat, the place has gotten so busy! So, do you live around here?”

“Yes, sir. I live a few streets over. In fact, I grew up coming here with my family. I go to a boarding school from September through June, though.”

“Well, you seem competent enough. I’m sure you can manage scooping ice cream. If you’re free right now Eric can show you around the place. What days are you able to work?” There was something so strange about the man’s dialect, as though he hadn’t been in Cokeworth his entire life, but still recognizable to her- very different from most of the people who lived in the mill-town. Lily brushed this off quickly, though, and reminded herself not to make quick judgements about the people around her. 

“Any day you need me! Except the first week of August- I’ll be out of town then- is that okay?” In her excitement about the job she had nearly forgotten about her visit to Marlene’s. Hopefully she would be able to do both.

“Not a problem, dearie.” Donald thought for a moment, scratching his chin as he did so. “Alright, how about you work Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday in the late afternoon until closing? That will help out a lot.” Lily sighed with relief knowing she would still be able to visit Marlene and be able to avoid Petunia. 

“Sounds great! Thank you so much...I’m really looking forward to working here!”

Donald gave her a soft smile and retreated to the back room. Lily turned expectantly to Eric, “So I guess you’re showing me the ropes, huh?”

He laughed with a twinkle in his eye and quipped, “unless you don’t know how to scoop onto a cone, there’s not much to show. Welcome to Cherry on Top, Lily.”

\---------

The Forest of Dean was what most would call magic. The trees stretched on for miles, allowing one to become lost in the woods’ beauty, completely forgetting all their woes and troubles. The sun glinted off the moss on the forest floor, illuminating the homes of the tiniest creatures. A small river ran parallel to a dense trail, with silver fish skipping happily in its waters. 

Even Mary, who knew true magic, still considered this forest one of the most magical places on earth. It was here that she first came to love nature, before she was enthralled by unicorns, hippogriffs, and hinkypunks. It had all the beauty of the Forbidden Forest, without the fear and rumor overshadowing its greatness. This forest was where she had hiked from the time she began to walk, always with her mum and dad, just like today.

But Mary didn’t want them there. The more Mae and Joseph MacDonald continued with their incessant chatter and questions, the closer she felt to exploding. The trees only provided her with so much ease- they couldn’t solve all her problems. 

“So let me make sure I’ve got this right, dear. They are half eagle and half horse?”

Mary had just finished telling them about hippogriffs, one of her favorite magical creatures to work with. If she was lucky, there would be a baby one coming in the fall and Professor Kettleburn would let her help deliver it. 

“That’s right, dad.”

“Mary, are there any malevolent creatures?” Asked her mum. 

She froze in her tracks, which gave her parents a chance to catch up from the few paces they were behind her. 

“Why?” She asked hesitantly.

“Well, I don’t know. I’m just curious about it all. I don’t suppose all creatures can be good.”

Mary let out a breath that she didn’t realize she had been holding and realized how ridiculous she was being. There wasn’t any need for her to be worried about her parents finding out about Death Eaters- it wasn’t like they read the Daily Prophet!

“Yeah, there’s some. It depends on what you think as malevolent. There’s different classifications for danger. Five X is the highest- those are impossible to train and deadly. Creatures like werewolves. But then there are these things called dementors. They guard Azkaban and can suck out your soul, but they aren’t classified as a beast or creature. And dragons are five X, but there are witches and wizards who breed and train them. So it just depends on who you’re talking to really.” Mary looked over to her parents, who were still walking along the trail, but by the look on their faces, trying to fully process all the information just thrown at them. It was humorous, she thought, that she had spent eleven years constantly being taught by her two teacher parents to suddenly have the roles reversed and become their instructor on an entire world. 

“What’s Azkaban?” Her father asked with a furrowed brow. 

“It’s the prison for dark wizards,” she automatically responded without a thought, starting to slip into an ease as she began to enjoy sharing her knowledge with the other two MacDonalds. 

“Dark wizards?” Came her mother’s voice in a soft and concerned tone, immediately smashing through her repose. 

\---------

Pealing laughter lit up the sky, distracting Marlene just enough to cause her to lose control of her broom and jerk towards the ground. She regained her balance when she about a foot from crashing into the grass and pointed the front of her broom towards the sky once again, the melodic noise still ringing in her ears. Though she would’ve once chastised herself for her lack of focus on the game, she was too caught up in the fluttering feeling that had refused to go away ever since she had started hanging around Arden a week ago. It was ridiculous, she kept trying to tell herself, that a friend, not to mention a friend who was a girl, could make her stomach twist in knots like it was and cause her aura of cool to clumsily fall away in a heartbeat. 

She redirected her broom to sit stationary in the air so she could fully take in the sight of the curly-haired girl doing loop de loops and complete nosedives on the other side of the lawn. She was in awe of her absolute autonomy in the sky, uncaring about drills, goals, or people watching. Half of the girl’s shoulder length hair was pulled into a knot at the top of her head, but that didn’t stop several curls from falling around her face and bouncing with a similar energy she was coming to associate with Arden. She saw that the sun was making its way farther west, casting brilliant rays that all seemed to catch themselves on the girl’s golden skin, like she was a magnet, drawing every creation towards her. Marlene took in a deep breath and shook her head as she realized she had been ogling once again and flew over to where her friend had just stopped. 

“What’re lookin’ at, Mar?”

“What...ummm....nothing...I mean...I was just watching to see if you would actually crash into the ground that time.” _Damn it,_ Marlene thought, _why do I suddenly forget how to speak around her?_ _Completely ridiculous. Shape up, Marlene. She’s just a girl._

Arden just laughed at her, before asking, “So, what’d you think? Am I good enough to make Seeker this year?”

“Arden, don’t be stupid. Alderton would be crazy not to pick you. Anyways, you were the reserve last year. If anyone is going to get it, it’s going to be you.” 

“Thanks. It will be a shame when we go head to head, though,” she said with a wink.

Marlene felt her cheeks start to blush under Arden’s gaze, so she quickly shot back, “Is that why you became friends with me? Hoping I’ll go easy on Hufflepuff this year?”

“Don’t you forget who won the House Cup, Marlene McKinnon.”

“Yeah, yeah...but we all know Gryffindor has a superior Quidditch team.”

The two girls continued their friendly banter as they flew in circles around the McKinnon lawn, only coming down when Mrs. McKinnon called Marlene down for dinner. 

“Well, I guess I better be going too then. See you tomorrow?” Asked Arden.

“You bet.” Marlene called out as she strode towards her front porch with her broom thrown nonchalantly over her shoulder, secretly wishing time would speed up so she could see the other girl sooner. 

\---------

James perched on the roof of the Potter Manor, having just returned from his brief excursion to the Leaky Cauldron with Peter. He should have felt bad for the other boy, seeing as he had practically moped around all day, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. His gut was telling him something was wrong. He didn’t know why Peter didn’t see it. Or maybe he did, and he just didn’t care. He tried to shake away the last thought, reminding himself not to think so lowly of the smaller boy, but he was all consumed by a desire to find his other half. 

The roof wasn’t the most logical place for him to be, what with his home having a plethora of other rooms for him to sulk in, but the height provided him with the clarity he needed to sort out some of his thoughts. What he most longed for was a stretch of woods to run as his animagus form, having found within the last year that the stag gave him better control over his mind. But instead, the manor was surrounded by acres of grass without a patch of dense trees for him to slip away in.

It didn’t make sense that Padfoot wasn’t responding to any of his calls through the mirror, he thought, as he stared out at the slowly setting sun. And if he was really going to admit, he was rather annoyed and angry because of it. It wasn’t fair that his friend had to go months sitting around an empty house instead of laughing and gallivanting with his friends. It wasn’t fair that he had to go so long without his friend. Sure, he had Peter and if he was lucky Remus would come along. But Sirius was his  _ best _ friend. He was practically his brother. James let out a deep breath, wholly put out by the situation. 

Usually, Sirius would check in a few times during the summer when he got a chance, but he had never gone this long without sending out some sort of signal. But now, there was nothing. Absolute silence. Note even a coded letter or a hello through the mirror to let him know he was alright. It didn’t sit well with James; it wasn’t like Sirius. 

He pulled his knees towards his chest and hugged his arms around his legs as he once again imagined himself barging into the Black boy’s home. He saw himself making a grand entry through the fireplace, shouting for the immediate release of Sirius, and standing up to Walburga and Orion Black. He could practically hear their laughter as he pictured the two of them running down the streets of London, freedom tasting so sweet after weeks of being apart. 

Realistically, James knew this wasn’t an option, he reminded himself as he forced his way back into reality. All he needed was a sign that Padfoot was okay. 

He pulled out his mirror, deciding to try for the last time that day. “Sirius,” he pleaded.

\---------

A muffled noise came from Sirius’s school trunk, but he ignored it, instead rolling over on his other side to get more comfortable. He knew without having to check that it was James trying to talk to him through the mirror- there was no one else who would be able to contact him during the summer months. Deep inside, his heart told him to give in to his friend’s attempts to contact him, but his mind was telling him that he didn’t have the energy to talk. 

Since coming back to Grimmauld Place, a dark cloud had settled over Sirius, pressing into his chest and mind. It clouded his memories in a grey haze and even those filled with sweet images of his friends couldn’t tug up a smile. He couldn’t pinpoint what exactly was wrong with him. Never before could he remember feeling so low and empty. Even through all of the years being raised by Walburga and Orion Black, not once had this feeling ever consumed him. He had always been the energetic and rambunctious one in the house, but now he hardly got out of his bed or left his room. It wasn’t that he was unable to, but he could simply no longer bring himself to. The simplest of tasks required a day’s worth of energy and after completed, he felt as though he had been trampled by a thousand centaurs. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he took a shower, so he moved his head to a position to smell his armpit, only to immediately pull back with a choke of disgust. He could feel the layers of grease on his now short hair and he almost laughed at the resemblance he must bear towards Snivellus Snape. But not even that thought could bring him out of this gloom. As he lowered his head back to the worn out pillow, he got a glimpse of the clock above his desk.  _ 5:27 pm.  _ He let out a long sigh, because he was about to be expected for dinner, so he mustered enough energy to pull himself off his bed and began to cleanse himself. 

The only appearances he made were those required of him, mostly being at family dinners accompanied by other pureblood families who had eligible daughters for him to marry. He stepped into the shower, unflinching when the cold water poured over him. He snorted in disbelief at the idea of him marrying a girl. His mother found him barely worthy of the Black name, and yet she was still going to great lengths to redeem him as the heir. The irony of the situation, of course, was that even if he wanted to uphold the Black name by cozying up to blood purists, he would never be interested in one of their daughters. At this thought, a pair of warm, amber eyes came to the forefront of his mind, and a wave of melancholic longing washed over him. 

When the first girl was placed in front of him, he had wanted to laugh in his mother and father’s faces. But then he remembered the words spoken to him on the platform and told himself that it was his last summer. He would be out of their grasp before they could marry him off. Only a few more months of pretending to be their heir. 

Finally in his best dress robes and fit for the presence of the rest of the Blacks, he trudged down the stairs to the dining room. He was five minutes early, but in his mother’s eyes, he was late. She said nothing, but she didn’t need to, as she sent him a sharp glare that spoke for her. He nodded politely to each of them and sat down across from Regulus. 

He wondered if his family had noticed his change in energy. If they had, he figured they were likely gleeful at the idea that he was finally fitting into their box. Perhaps they believed he had finally matured and realized the errors of his ways. He had barely argued when Walburga decided to cut his hair into a more regal style and though the past summers had been filled with many disciplinary actions brought on by his father, he had only seen him once in his time back. And Regulus. He had barely spoken to him, despite living in the room next door. Sirius had wanted to spend more time with his younger brother, but each time he went to knock on his door, he stopped himself. That was the first week of summer and after many failed attempts, he stopped trying. 

Now, he looked up at his brother who was making polite conversation with their mother and father. He couldn’t bring himself to look in Regulus’s eyes and instead stared down at his full plate. When he saw him he no longer saw his once timid and shy baby brother, but instead a Black, molded and shaped until any undesired flaw was taken away. He wondered if it was all an act, perhaps his brother was doing it out of necessity- for his survival.  _ Could we be more similar than I think?  _ But that seemed unlikely, because he played the part of the perfect Black so well that it couldn’t just be an act. No, the Black blood runs through his veins, it was only a matter of time.  _ But then, aren’t I the same? _

  
  



	5. July 27th...part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: mild internalized homophobia during Marlene's POV  
>  child abuse (Sirius POV)
> 
> I also just want to note about the recent news about JKR's new book. I have been doing a lot of thinking (and still am) about how to approach Harry Potter with the author being so transphobic. I have heard a lot of people say that the fans have reclaimed the work and I think fanfiction is a great way to show that. I 100% support trans rights and as part of the LGBTQ+ community, I think its super important to add those themes into writing, which is why I have characters within the community. I feel like I'm rambling now?...so I hope you enjoy this. I'm not super happy with Marlene's POV, but I have major plans for her character, so don't worry!

He was on the Astronomy tower. He felt a slight breeze drifting over him, tickling his pale skin and making the hair on his neck stand up. He looked up at the starry night sky, always subconsciously finding the same constellation before turning his gaze towards the moon, which he saw was in its waxing gibbous form, shining brightly and unhindered by any clouds. This immediately struck him as odd, as he was standing up straight, no feelings of soreness coursing through his body, and his bones did not feel like they were going to splinter and crack. He looked down at himself to assure himself he was in the correct body and then looked back up at the bright moon to make sure it really was a waxing gibbous. It was though, meaning the full moon would be in a few days, but it didn’t make sense. He should be in some sort of aching pain. He should be able to feel hot pools of magic running through him. His body shouldn’t feel so calm. He should be able to feel every muscle stretching within. He definitely would not have come up to the Astronomy tower in the middle of the night when he could be getting some much needed sleep. 

“Strange,” he whispered into the air as though it would give him some answers. There had to be some explanation, something other than the first one that came to his mind- his lycanthropy couldn’t have been cured... could it? It was wishful thinking, but all current signs were pointing to that possibility. 

“What’s strange?” He had thought he was alone, but a new voice pierced his thoughts and caused him to jump. Heavy footsteps were coming towards him from the staircase at the other side of the tower. 

“Sirius?” He turned around and there was the other boy, nonchalantly standing in front of him, hands stuffed in his jean pockets and beautiful black hair flowing down past his chin. 

“What’s strange, Moony?” He walked over to the edge of the tower and stood next to Remus as he asked this, leaning casually against the wall. 

“Nothing.” He was thinking he must be going crazy, but he wasn’t about to vocalize that to his cru---friend. 

He felt Sirius’s eyes on him and though he wasn’t sure if Sirius could read minds, he decided to look over the ledge into the darkness in avoidance. Although he usually would panic at seeing the long stretch of nothingness before the ground, he was able to stare into the immense void without even a second thought. He didn’t have a problem with being so high up, it was the looking down that got to him. Perhaps it was the presence of Sirius making him braver or his desire to look anywhere but at the other boy. Whatever the reason, he couldn’t be sure. The night was already filled with too many oddities. 

“You know, the point of this tower is to look up,” Sirius said with a laugh. “Besides, the sky is so clear tonight, come on, look.” 

Remus brought his head up to look at the expansive sky, wrapping his arms around himself as he did so he could clutch his brown cardigan while trying to ignore the intense heat that was radiating between him and his friend. 

“There’s Canis Major. Do you see it?”

Remus looked to where the boy was pointing. Of course he saw it, it was always the first constellation he looked for every night. There was the star, so bright, just like the boy who shared the same name. It lit up the sky and everything around it. But he couldn’t tell Sirius this, because that’s not something you tell your best friend. 

“Just like you to be so narcissistic, Pads,” he joked instead, with a nervous chuckle. 

Sirius reached out and lightly shoved him on the shoulder as he laughed, unknowing that as he did so, Remus felt a thousand sparks fly through his skin and a blush cover his scarred cheeks. 

He looked to his right at Padfoot, wondering if he ever felt the way he did when the two of them were so close. Amber met grey and time seemed to slow down, but his heart started beating faster. Had everything frozen around them? Was it in his head, or was Sirius leaning in closer? Was this what he thought it was? He took a step closer to the shorter boy until their faces were only inches apart. The space that was filled only with shallow breaths was closing in, their lips were about to touch, Sirius would finally know how he felt…

Remus jerked awake and immediately brought a hand to his lips, thinking about how close he had been to kissing his best friend. He looked around him, disoriented and trying to take in his surroundings. _Bollocks._

He was in his room- in Wales. Not at Hogwarts, not on the Astronomy Tower, and not with Sirius. There was a soft rap on his door.

“Remus, are you up? Breakfast is ready.” It was his mother, her knocking must have woken him up. It had all been a dream. That was why he hadn’t been feeling sick and that was why Sirius had seemed interested in him. He leaned over and covered his face with his hands. _Ugh._

“Yeah, I’m up, mum. Be down soon.” 

Of course it had been a dream. He needed to get over this stupid crush he had on his friend. He pulled at his sandy brown hair, annoyed at himself. It was hopeless. There was no way a beautiful, vivacious, boy like Sirius would have feelings for a scarred, sickly, boy like him. Not to mention the fact that Padfoot was undeniably straight. He knew his crush was stupid and he had been telling himself this from the moment he started catching feelings in fourth year, shortly before he realized he was into both guys and girls. He had hoped that he would finally get over it this summer, but no, the boy was always on his mind. Over a year of pining after someone he couldn’t have! And the fact of the matter, he knew, was that he should hate Sirius. He should still hate him for almost getting Snape killed and himself put down. But he still couldn’t shake it. He had tried to hate him, with every fiber of his being, and he had certainly put on a good show for a few months, ignoring the other boy. But in the end, he found that love was a much stronger emotion than hate where Sirius was concerned, and he had tentatively forgiven him. If what he felt for Sirius could be called love, that is. He pulled at his hair again, chastising himself for using love and the grey eyed boy in the same thought. He had to get over this stupid crush before it got too out of hand. Afterall, he was just a stupid boy with stupid hair, a stupid smile, and a stupid personality. Well-- 

“Remus,” Hope Lupin called from the kitchen, “your breakfast is getting cold!”

“Coming!”

\---------

_“What’s Askaban?”_

_“It’s the prison for dark wizards.”_

_“Dark wizards?”_

She had been replaying the conversation in her head for the last week and a half, wondering what she could have said differently. She should have just said people who broke the law, told them that it was the equivalent of a muggle jail. She had been stupid, too cocky, and pretentious due to her insane need to educate her muggle parents. She should have taken a second to think about her answer. This is what happens when she doesn’t think things through. Things got messy and one thing she hated most was things getting messy and in disarray, unless you counted her room of course. 

She had tried to avoid the question and play it off like it was just a name, that the wizards weren’t that evil, that it was just the dramatics of the wizarding world. But her parents didn’t believe her and seeing as they both worked jobs filled with plenty of lying children, they knew when a story wasn’t adding up. They asked her more and more questions until she was practically forced to come clean. She told them everything, about what it was really like being someone like her in the wizarding world, about getting bullied (though she was vague through this part), and the dark wizards who wanted to get rid of people like her. She told them that there would probably be a war and after she told them, she felt as though a giant weight had been lifted off her shoulders. 

But then, for the first time in her life, she had seen Mae and Joseph MacDonald get angry. And it wasn’t just the normal peeved sort of angry- no they were properly livid. They were angry at her for lying, they were angry she was treated that way, and they were angry at Hogwarts and Dumbledore for letting it happen. 

And so she had spent the last week and a half partially avoiding them while their anger simmered. She wasn’t sure if they wanted to talk to her, as she hadn’t ever been in this situation before, but when she had woken up that morning she had told herself to muster up all of her supposed Gryffindor courage and be the first one to break the silence. 

She went to the kitchen, where they were both sitting, her mum doing the crossword and her dad reading a book. While the room appeared cheerful, with many houseplants tucked into nooks and crannies and family photos on the walls, the atmosphere must have been the exact opposite. Neither looked up when she pulled out her chair and sat down. This was so new to her and she wasn’t quite sure how to begin. It wasn’t like she had never been in trouble, she certainly had. But her parents always acted like the summers were time for sunshine, rainbows, and happy family time. She had never been on the receiving end of such anger from them before. 

“Mum. Dad. I was hoping we could talk more about last week,” she started hesitantly, testing the waters. They looked up at this statement and both stared at her, waiting. Her mum even arched an eyebrow, a sign to Mary that this would not go over easily. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I was going to tell you this summer, I was just trying to figure out how. It’s all so complicated, you have to understand, please. I really did want to tell you. And it really only got worse this past year, I promise.” She looked at their sad eyes, wishing she could go back in time and prevent any of this from happening. It was her dad who spoke first. 

“We trusted you, Mary. We trusted you to tell us what goes on in your world because we don’t have access to that. You broke that trust. You knew it wasn’t safe and you didn’t tell us.” Her heart fell a little as she heard the disappointment come out in his words. She felt her eyes prick with incoming tears.   
“I’m sorry--”

“You can go to Marlene’s next week, but we don’t want you going back to school until this is over,” her mum interrupted sharply. 

“What? Are you serious? What about my education? You are teachers! Don’t you want me to learn?” She hadn’t seen this coming. She thought they would be mad for awhile and extra cautious, but not enough to pull her out of school. The tears were now lightly sliding down her cheeks, but not just from the sadness she had felt for disappointing them, but the anger at what her mother was saying. 

“It isn’t safe!” Her mum’s voice was rising to match her own now.

“It’s just as safe as me staying home! What am I supposed to do? Throw away magic and pretend to be a muggle, like you?” She knew it wasn’t fair to say “be a muggle” as though it was such a terrible thing, but as someone trying to find her way in two worlds, it was an awful thought that she might be forced to live in only one. 

“You said they want to kill people like you! We can’t let that happen. I’m sure there are ways for you to learn magic here,” her father tried to reason. 

“No! There aren’t! How am I supposed to study the creatures? Who do you think is going to teach me? Just because you both are teachers, it doesn’t mean you can teach me this stuff. I don’t care if I get killed because of it, it’s worth it if I get to be who I am!”

She pushed back her chair with a heavy screech and stormed away to her room, fuming and leaving her parents flabbergasted at her apparent acceptance of death. What she didn’t see was her mum’s silent tears or her father’s shaking leg as she slammed the door behind her. Her anger had surprised even her, usually she kept it bottled away, only letting small amounts out at a time in a more calm way, but now it seethed through her, threatening to take out everything in its path. 

She sat on her floor, against the door, and took deep and labored breaths. The air suddenly felt thick and like it was about to suffocate her. Her entire body was buzzing with the electricity of anger and panic. Greta immediately jumped on her lap and purred, as though she could sense her owner’s distress. She brushed through the cat’s soft fur with her fingers and began to feel herself steady, even though her mind was still racing through a million different thoughts. 

_What am I going to do?_

\---------

“Master Sirius, Mistress and Master Black wish to see you in the drawing room.” 

The light in his room came on with a sudden flick, ripping him from his sleep and momentarily blinding him.

Sirius responded to Kreacher with only a grunt and rolled off his bed, landing in a heap on the ground. He looked up just in time to see the house-elf’s disgruntled face and knew he was holding back more than one criticism. Bringing himself up on his knees, he leaned on the side of his bed and wished he could slip back into the silky pile of sheets. 

“The time?” He asked the elf with a sleepy yawn.

“Ten am. They wish to see you within the next quarter of an hour.” 

“Fine, fine, I’m getting up, you can leave now.”

As Kreacher turned on his heels with a whip of the dingy cloth hanging from his thin frame, Sirius could hear the disgruntled mutterings about filth and blood traitors.

He rolled his eyes at the blasted elf and glanced over at his calendar to find the date. If there was one thing he had been doing routinely this summer, it was methodically crossing off each day on the piece of paper hung by his desk so he would have some sense of time. _July 27th. New moon._

Still in a haze, he crossed over to his wardrobe and pulled out the first set of robes he saw. They were an unfortunate green, a color he had sworn to himself that he would never wear after being sorted into Gryffindor, but this summer he found himself slipping into the emerald fabric without too much derision. He knew it put Walburga and Orion at ease to see him wearing colors in such opposition to everything he stood for. It was funny, that he now thought of what would please his parents. He smoothed out his short, black hair and pushed any stray locks away, so as not to overshadow his grey eyes. He hated the cropped length of it and yearned to have his wavy tendrils back again. After performing the most basic hygienics, he headed in the direction of his parents, his shoulders sagging and his head towards his feet. 

The drawing room had always been his least favorite part of the house. It was a gloomy room, with high ceilings, cabinets filled with dark objects passed down from heir to heir, and his family’s tapestry. But most importantly, it was a room filled with pain, curses, hexes, and though he would never admit it if asked, many of his shed tears from his earliest years. It was in this room that he learned to push down his weaknesses to where even his closest allies couldn’t find them. He had found his strength in this room, but that didn’t mean he was thankful for it. He would gladly go without knowing how much pain he could tolerate if it meant he never had to have stepped through that door. He believed the four walls reflected the misery within the entire house, where all his dreams went to die. 

Preparing himself for the worst, he lifted his shoulders and stood ramrod straight as he brought up one pale, bony fist to knock twice on the door. 

“Come in,” came his father’s deep and aristocratic voice. 

His mother was perched on the couch as though she was trying to stop herself from sinking into the stiff cushions and his father was standing behind her, with one arm on the fireplace and a glass of whiskey in the other hand. 

“Mother, father.” He nodded to them both and made his way across the room until there was only three feet between them. “You wished to see me.” He wondered what kind of trouble he was in, after all, he had done nothing except lay in bed the entire summer. 

“Sirius, _Toujours pur,_ what does it mean?” His mother’s cold voice asked, cutting through the silence.

“Always pure.”

She stood up from the couch and slowly walked over to the family tapestry on the adjacent wall while beckoning him to her side. He went to her, knowing he was about to receive the same lesson that had been drilled into his and Regulus’s heads since they were old enough to speak. 

“Isla, Phineas, Marius, Cedrella, and Andromeda.” She spat the last name with a venom that sucked all life out of the air and a look that could have killed. “What do all these names have in common?”

“They were all burned off the tree, mother.”

“And why?”

“Because they didn’t uphold the Black name.”

“Very good.” She walked away from the tapestry with a flick of her black robes and sat back in her spot on the couch. The only time Walburga spoke those names was to use them as an example of how not to be. Otherwise, they were forbidden names in 12 Grimmauld Place. 

“Upholding our bloodlines is our number one priority, Sirius. The Black name is one of the most well respected in our world and it is our duty- your duty- to keep it that way.” 

Sirius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. There were more important things than a name, but he knew his family would throw a riot at the mention of that. 

“The Notts and their daughter, Pheme, are coming for dinner tonight. As you know, they are part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight. This would be a very advantageous marriage for us as they are among the oldest of the pureblood families. We expect the best of you tonight.” 

They didn’t need to say it, but the threat of punishment hung in the air. If he didn’t comply with their wishes, he would get what was coming for him. He could tell they were much more serious about this dinner than the others, seeing as they hadn’t bothered to give him a talk before those. 

“I understand, mother.”

“6 o’clock, sharp. You can leave, now. And clean yourself, you filthy boy.”

He acknowledged them both with a quick nod of his head and took one last glance at Andromeda’s burnt spot on the family tapestry before leaving the room. Among the names Walburga had recalled, hers was the one that hurt the most. He missed his cousin, she had been gone for too long. The letters she sent him throughout the school year weren’t enough to make up for her absence and she never kept in touch during the summers, in case the other Blacks found out. He wished he could meet her daughter, she must be around three at this point. He had been nine when he was brought to the drawing room where his mother was screaming about mudbloods and marriage, surrounded by Cygnus, Druella, and their two other daughters. He could still remember the smell of the burning tapestry and Narcissa’s teary face. One day soon, the Blacks would be repeating that ritual. 

\---------

“No Arden today?”

Marlene looked up at her mom from the sandwich she was devouring. She had just come in from practicing Quidditch and sweat was still running down the back of her neck, despite being in the cool house.

Much like her daughter, Gail McKinnon was a tall woman, with slightly darker blonde hair and eyes that flickered with her emotion, often being fearsome, mischievous, or somewhere in between. She often wondered how her mother managed to raise five rambunctious and independent children while still staying sane, but she supposed it mustn’t have been too hard since her mother could match each of her brothers and herself in energy, as well as being particularly talented at defensive spells. Those who first met Marlene often assumed she adopted her steely and sarcastic nature as a result of having older brothers, but that was only partially true. While she had learned from an early age that she had to stand up to them, her mother had been the one to teach her how to be tough and put up a guard against the older boys. Now, as she looked into her mother’s eyes, Marlene saw what she thought was a glint of curiosity, causing her to stomach to clench as though she was hiding something. Which, of course, she most certainly was not. 

“Nah. Her uncle wanted to have lunch today.”

“Oh, I see. Well, the two of you have become fast friends. It’s good you have someone your age so close by.”

It was true, the two girls had definitely bonded rather quickly, a blessing that Marlene had not been expecting for her summer. They had been keeping each other company pretty much everyday, sometimes going to the nearby pier, but usually spending their time racing on their brooms and lounging in the grass with the occasional break to go inside for food. There was only one problem with her new friend, something that she longed to be able to talk to her mother about. 

But she wasn’t sure how she would react, because she didn’t entirely understand the way she was feeling, let alone think it was right to be having those feelings. What she did know, however, was that everytime Arden was closeby or she thought about her laugh, her heart would start to race faster. There had been the other day, when Arden softly grabbed her arm to steady herself after chaotically landing her broom, making Marlene’s whole body flip directions and head spin. And there it was, her heart picking up speed while she was just trying to enjoy her bloody sandwich and have a normal conversation with her mother. She let out a quiet sigh and turned her attention back to her mum, hoping she would be able to distract her from her worrying thoughts.

“So, Lily and Mary are coming next week,” she prompted, knowing she would get excited at the mention of her two friends.

“Yep, yep. And we’re all set. Your dad and I will side-along them here, no worries. Are you excited?” 

“Yeah, pretty much.” Despite not shouting from the rooftops with excitement, she was pretty thrilled to be having her two best friends stay for a week. It would be nice, she thought, to have some sense of normalcy return to her life and it might be just what she needed to feel like herself again. 

A crackling noise filled the air before changing to a woman’s voice. She turned her head to see her mother fiddling with the radio. 

“Eww, mum. Celestina Warbeck, seriously?” She wrinkled her nose and wished her mother had caught on to the better muggle singers she introduced her to in 3rd year. 

“Hey! Don’t judge me, I like her. Her songs are romantic.”

Marlene pretended to vomit, causing Gail to laugh before swiping her empty plate and turning towards the sink.

“Come on, certainly you don’t hate the idea that much,” she suggested. “Do you have a boyfriend?” She asked this casually, not knowing that behind her, her daughter was suddenly going through an internal crisis.

This was not the sort of thing she talked about with her mum. Never once, had they ever brought up the idea of boys. She felt awkward and squeamish all over at the thought of chatting about dating with her mum. Yet, here she was, about to have that conversation.

“Not interested,” was all she managed to say.

“Certainly you’ve had a crush before. You can tell me, I won’t laugh.” She now turned away from the sink to face her daughter once again and Marlene felt the guilt creeping back to her, though she wasn’t sure what was causing it. 

“Nope,” she responded evasively. “Boys are gross. I have no need for them.”

“Hmmph, not even James Potter? You’re on Quidditch with him, aren’t you?”

“Ughh, mom, no! We’re just friends. Godric, can you drop the subject already?”

Her mom looked hurt and she suddenly felt even more guilty for snapping at her.   
“Sorry, but I’m serious, I don’t have a crush on anyone and I’m not looking for a boyfriend.”

“Alright, I’m sorry for pushing. You can talk to me about that stuff though.” And she dropped the subject, leaving Marlene to continue her day outside. 

\---------

Lily had been having the best week of her summer, all thanks to Eric Lowe. Although it was a Tuesday and she didn’t technically have a shift at Cherry on Top, she still found herself at the ice cream parlour, sitting at a small table near the counter, switching between reading _The Sign of Four_ and talking to her new friend when there weren’t any customers.

She found herself enjoying the older boy’s company, making her come to the parlour on her days off to spend time with him. Though, she must admit, most people were more pleasant to be around than Petunia. He had no problem with her sharp and witty remarks and wasn’t put off by the parts of her life that should have seemed too mysterious to be okay. She had learned the other day that his parents had died when he was only a baby and so he had lived with his Uncle Donald from an early age. She told him about her dad and she felt like finally someone understood what she had been going through the last year and a half. Her friends at Hogwarts tried to empathize with her, but none of them knew what it was like to lose a parent. She looked at Marlene and Mary’s families and they seemed perfect, but Eric made her feel more normal about her dysfunctional family. 

“Coffee ice cream, two scoops.” A hand placed a cup of ice cream in front of her, bringing her attention away from her book and thoughts and she smiled as Eric sat down next to her. She tucked her bookmark in between the pages, which just so happened to be the crumpled letter from Potter that she was still mulling over. 

“Wow, you know me so well,” she said dryly. “Thanks.” She looked around and noticed that there were no customers and then looked out the window, surprised that the sun was lower in the sky than she expected. “What time is it?”

“Nearly six. Figured you must be getting hungry, sitting there all day reading.” As if on cue, her stomach let out a loud growl and they both burst into laughter. “Anyways, I’m sure your mum wants you home for dinner soon,” he continued.

“Nah, she’s working late at the hospital tonight.” She looked over the counter to see Donald come out from the backroom with a new sleeve of cones. 

“Say, Eric, do you know what Donald’s tattoo means?” She had noticed it during their first meeting, but she wasn’t sure if it would be impolite to ask him directly. It was small enough to go unnoticed unless you were perceptive, but it had such an intricate and odd triangular shape that it plucked her curiosities. 

“I’m...I’m not sure. I’ve never asked,” responded Eric, though she could tell he wasn’t being completely honest. She wondered why he would lie about something as innocent as a tattoo, but decided not to pry. 

“What are you drawing today?” She asked him instead. 

He stood up and walked over to the counter, leaning to reach for his sketchbook on the other side. He flipped through it as he walked back over to her and placed it on the table for her to see. 

“Wow,” was all she said, amazed at what he had drawn. On the page was a beautiful, medieval looking castle done so realistically it was almost like she was there. He had done it in a winter landscape and she was immediately reminded of walking the Hogwarts grounds near Christmastime. “Is this a real place?” She asked him.

“No, it’s just from my imagination. Wouldn’t it be so cool to go to a real castle, though?”

“Yeah, it would.” The fact that she lived in a castle ten months out of the year did not escape her, though she couldn’t tell her muggle friend this fact. Suddenly, she found herself wishing she could tell him all about Hogwarts, she was sure he would love hearing all about the massive castle. 

The bell rang across the store as the door opened, bringing in a small group of young boys, all energetically hurrying to the counter to look at the ice cream. 

“Well, back to work for me and back to your book for you,” said Eric, cheerfully approaching the boys. 

\---------

Pheme Nott stepped out of the fireplace with a well practiced grace and placed her hand onto Sirius’s awaiting arm. She had a sophisticated, yet wicked smile that too closely resembled the one of Bellatrix. She walked purposefully towards the tapestry, admiring the long family line and noticeably bringing one delicate hand up to touch the most recent burn mark. He didn’t know too much about the girl, other than that she was a 5th year Slytherin and of the Nott family. Of course, he knew boundless facts about her family, having been taught about all of the Sacred Twenty-Eight during his childhood. Cantankerous Nott was a name that played throughout his head and was the reason this dinner was much more important than the others his mother had put on.

He led her to the dining room and like a gentleman, pulled out the chair adjacent to his. Walburga and Orion came in behind them with Sol and Astra Nott, along with Pheme’s brother, Cleon. He was a few years older than Sirius, he must be around 20 by now. He had been a prefect during his time at Hogwarts and on the receiving end of more than one of the Marauder’s pranks. He resembled his father in a multitude of ways, but what he noticed most was a smug smile that seemed to permanently be etched across his face, as though he knew he was better than everyone around him. Regulus was the last to sit down, across from Sirius, but avoided making eye contact with anyone, instead staring off into the distance as though he was under a trance. 

“Isn’t it awful, to have to live and study with all of those mudbloods and halfbreeds?” Pheme asked Sirius as the first course was served. 

“Oh yes, it’s just terrible. I can hardly stand being around them all the time,” he lied with a monotone voice, wondering if anyone could detect any of the sarcasm in his voice. 

“You poor thing, I don’t understand you manage it. I would have demanded to be resorted,” responded Pheme. Either she didn’t understand that he wasn’t serious or she didn’t care. 

At the other end of the table his parents were asking Cleon what he was doing now that he was finished with school.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve heard about the Dark Lord from your niece. I’ve been working with him quite a bit. It’s important work, you know.” The smugness never once left his face and he quickly twitched his left arm like he had an itch. 

“That it is. Good for you, boy,” responded Orion with a rare smile on his face. “It’s good to see that you have your head on straight.

Sirius looked over at his mother and instead of seeing a similar happiness at the mention of the allusive “Dark Lord,” her face was twisted into jealousy. Within a second, though, she had schooled her face back into her usual, reserved expression and said, “Soon enough our Sirius will be out of Hogwarts and he will join your ranks.” Her lips tugged into a wicked smile as she glanced down the table and caught his eye. He felt his blood curl, though he wasn’t sure if it was from her calling him “our Sirius” or the insinuation of what he would be doing after he finished school. 

“There’s no need to wait until you leave Hogwarts. The Dark Lord wants to start recruiting current students. Unlike others, he doesn’t care how many N.E.W.T.s one has received as long as they are loyal to the cause.” Sirius looked up at Regulus as he heard Cleon say this, hoping to catch his reaction. But other than a sharp nod in acknowledgement, no emotion played across the younger boy’s face. 

The rest of dinner was spent with their parents and Cleon talking about various ministry officials, the rising amount of mudbloods coming to Hogwarts, and Pheme whispering in his ear as he counted down the minutes until the night was over.

“Will you join them?” She asked him excitedly. 

He ignored her question, instead pushing his food around his plate. He wondered if she actually wanted to be there and if she actually wanted to marry him. It was possible she was just trying to please her family, but she seemed so happy at the prospect of the coming war and joining her brother with the Dark Lord. She was a pretty girl, it was an undeniable fact, so she would most definitely be married off to some pureblood boy by the time she graduated from Hogwarts. And maybe she would even be happy with that life. Continuing the cycle of upholding a blood status that doesn’t actually mean anything. He wondered if she knew what it meant to fight in a war- they were only children, after all. She was no more than fifteen. It all seemed like a game to her. 

Kreacher was bringing dessert out now, the night was almost over and he would be able to retreat back to his dark room to isolate himself until he was summoned again. Next to him, Pheme was giggling, though what at, he wasn’t sure. He looked around, no one had said anything funny to her. The adults were speaking among themselves and Regulus had hardly spoken two words the entire night.

“Sirius, I heard a little rumor about you at the end of the year. I suppose it wasn’t true, though, considering the circumstances of my being here.”

“And what, may I ask, was this rumor about?” Walburga asked sharply from the other end, immediately ending her conversation with Astra Nott. 

Sirius knew what was coming next and he felt himself go weak. There was surely only one rumor she could be alluding to. What he didn’t expect was the expression on Regulus’s face when he looked up at his brother. He had gone pale, with eyes wide, and a panicked complexion. He knew. He knew and he hadn’t told them.

“Oh, just that another Slytherin found Sirius snogging a boy in a broom closet,” she said loftily as though talking about the weather. She started giggling again, but the entire room had gone silent. No one was moving, except Pheme, who was taking another bite of her pudding and dabbing her lips politely with her napkin. She looked up and her eyes went wide. “What, were you unaware of this rumor? It isn’t true, is it?” 

“No, of course it isn’t true, you foolish girl. You shouldn’t be spreading falsities. Tell me, who started this rumor?” Walburga was quick to deny it, but from the fuming of her nostrils, Sirius knew she was just saying it for appeasement of the guests. 

“Well, I’m not certain. I think Snape. A 6th year boy. Severus Snape.”

“There you have it. Snape is not a wizard’s name. This boy must be jealous of the Black name so he is spreading untrue rumors about our son.” She looked right at him as she said this and he swallowed deeply. His hands were shaking and he felt his heart drop to the pit of his stomach. He knew what was coming for him once the Notts left. 

\---------

There was a knock on her door, but she ignored it. 

“Mary, come out please,” came her mum’s voice.

She didn’t answer. After a few moments she heard footsteps retreating back to the other parts of the apartment and then they were back. There was the sound of something being placed on the floor in front of her door and again the footsteps went away. 

She didn’t move from where she was laying on her bed until a few moments later, thinking that the coast would be clear. When she opened her door and looked down, all that was sitting there was a hot bowl of macaroni and cheese. 

_Comfort food. Bribery, I guess._

She picked up the bowl and shut her door, sliding against it onto the floor to eat her dinner. She was still angry at her parents, beyond furious actually, that they would try to make a decision about Hogwarts without her. But she had calmed down more since that morning, enough at least to start coming up with a plan. 

There wasn’t much she could do, though. She was only sixteen, not of age in muggle or wizarding terms, so if her parents wanted to pull her out of school, they had that authority. And they already knew about the political climate of wizarding Britain, so it wouldn’t do her any good to try to convince them there was no danger. She had even briefly considered running off to Marlene’s or Lily’s, but that idea was quickly overshadowed by the thoughts of a life without her parents. In the end, she decided she would write to Professor McGonagall and ask for her advice when she was at Marlene’s, since it was her owl that she usually borrowed. 

She spooned up the last of her cheesy dish and savored the last bite, somewhat angry at herself for enjoying something her mum had made. 

She stood back up and cracked open her door, making sure there was no one at the other end of the hall. Seeing there wasn’t, she quietly made her way to the kitchen sink and dutifully washed and dried her dish. Lost in her thoughts and the sound of the running water, she hadn’t noticed her father come in behind her, so when she turned around to put the bowl away, she nearly dropped it from surprise.

Regaining her composure, she refused to meet his eyes and hastily shoved the bowl in the nearest cabinet before pushing her way past him, head down. 

“Mary. You can’t just ignore us.”

“Funny, you did that to me all week.”

“And I’m sorry about that, but we were trying to make sense of everything you told us.”

She turned to look at her dad over her shoulder. 

“Well, I guess that’s just what I’m doing then.”

She walked back to her room, happy that she had gotten in the last word, but just as she was closing the door, she heard her father say one last thing, “we just want to keep you safe.”

\---------

“We look forward to seeing you again. Thank you for having us in your home.”

Sol Nott shook Orion’s hand before following his wife and children into the fireplace. 

Sirius swallowed, ready for what was about to happen. This was it. This is what he had been trying to avoid all summer. He sensed Regulus behind him, standing stock still by the door. He was turning his head back to get a better look at him, to let him know it would all be okay, when his mother whipped her wand out with surprising speed for a woman who didn’t duel and slashed it twice through the air. He felt a sting on his cheek, but he didn’t flinch. He was used to this hex. He had been on the receiving end of it more times than he could count. A few drops of his blood trickled down his face, but he stood still, not wiping it away and instead looking straight at his parents. And then the screaming began. 

“HOW DARE YOU!” Another slash, this time on the other cheek. “HOW DARE YOU SULLY THE BLACK NAME!” Another one, on his side, the blood immediately being soaked up by his emerald robes. He doubled over slightly as she sent another one at him, all the while screaming. “HOW DARE YOU MAKE A FOOL OF US!” He was hit again, but he was still standing. 

And now, his father’s quieter voice broke through the ringing, cracking like a whip that mimicked the curse he was using. “This is not how we raised you.” His back broke out in pain as an invisible force seared into his skin and sent him to his knees. Orion Black had less flair for the dramatics, unlike his mother who would scream for everyone to hear, because that was what she wanted- to make her point known. But despite his lack of grandeur, his punishments were often the worst. He always chose a succession of spells that he knew would take Sirius down. He knew silly stinging hexes and slashes wouldn’t phase him, but to strike him with something harder, and to strike him while he was already down, that was what would hurt him. 

He lifted his chin to look at the two of them, the people who hadn’t really been his parents in a very long time. He hated how similar he looked to them, with his mother’s cutting cheekbones, his father’s shorter stature, and the noble, Black eyes. And then, just as he caught his eye, without a moment's hesitation, his father brought his wand down again, “Crucio!”

His body went limp and all he knew was pain. _Were those his screams he heard? No, he never screamed in front of them. He didn’t show his weakness. It couldn’t be. Was that laughter? A woman’s laughter? But whose was it? More screams. Should he fight?_ _How does he fight this? He didn’t have any fight left in him._

The fight had gone the minute he came back for the summer. Screams and pain. Blinding white pain until he wasn’t even aware of his own body. It was almost as though he left it entirely, but he could still feel every inch of the curse coursing through him. It rattled him to the bone, threatening to split open each tendon and nerve until he was a pile of rags. He saw himself, laying on the ground, writhing, while Orion and Walburga each took turns casting the cruciatus at him. He looked over at Regulus. Little Regulus. His baby brother. He shouldn’t see him like this. He had tears in his eyes, the most emotion he’s seen from his baby brother in the last year. More blinding, white, hot pain. He was going to die. This was it. This was going to be his end. He was going to die in the room with the tapestry where it all began. And then, he slipped into darkness. 


	6. July 27th...part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi! If anyone is actually consistently reading this story, sorry for the long wait! I had a lot of school stuff going on (yay Organic chemistry!) and then when I finally got around to working on this chapter I had some complications relating to my chronic illness (woohoo!). Anyways, this chapter is a little shorter due to it mainly being the second part of the last chapter. I got stuck on it a lot- especially James POV at the end. But I added in a small Regulus POV! I hope you enjoy!

The small streets of Cokeworth were cast in golden rays. The sun was moving further west, almost completely disappearing behind the small buildings of the old mill town. Fathers and mothers had long ago returned home from their jobs, making dinner, and reading one last story to their children, leaving the streets quiet and empty. To those who passed through the place, it was seen as nothing more than a ghost town, the skeletal remains of a mill that once provided jobs and a flourishing economy. But only the people who had lived there their entire lives knew this was just how the town was, not completely dead, but not full of life either. 

Despite the descending darkness and vacant roads, one girl walked through the town, trudging slowly down the sidewalks as though wandering with no known direction. 

It was 8:30 at night and Lily was finally making her way home. Eric had offered to walk with her, but she had declined, not wanting to make him go out of his way. She thought he was very polite, especially compared to all the other boys her age, who were mostly large annoyances to her. She couldn’t be too sure, though, because she had come to find that so many people had hidden personalities, so she didn’t entirely trust herself to fall into a full friendship with him. There were still things about him she just couldn’t figure out, such as his nervousness when she asked about Donald’s tattoo. It was nice, though, for the summer. Someone to have company with. Someone who was unproblematic. 

The tattoo though. It was bothering her for some odd reason. She knew it wasn’t really any of her business, but it was the kind of marking that she wouldn’t expect a muggle to have, especially not one who lived in Cokeworth. It was a fairly simple shape- a triangle with a circle and line- but strange nonetheless. She had even checked her runes textbook and there wasn’t anything like it. 

She made her way along the street, kicking a pebble and trying to make her journey last as long as possible. She was humming “Bennie and the Jets,” which had been stuck in her head since leaving the ice cream parlour. It would be dark out soon, with only the street lamps to light her way, and even though she found this slightly spooky, she did not pick up her speed. 

No one was expecting her home. Even if she decided to take an hour to walk the two miles, she would still beat her mum, who wouldn’t be back until after the Evans sisters were fast asleep. It was an odd feeling, being able to wander knowing no one would be looking for her. At Hogwarts, she always felt a sense of purpose as she went throughout the castle. She was expected in classes, meetings, and prefect duties, but her summers were blank voids that she could fill with whatever she pleased. 

She was becoming quite accustomed to her late night walks through Cokeworth and she enjoyed the fact that they reminded her of her time this past year wandering through the castle on prefect duty, just without having to knock on any broom cupboards or send pesky first years to bed of course. She loved the way the streets were filled with a warm glow and how even though she spent more time away from the town than in it, it somehow never managed to change. 

There was a sudden rustle behind her. She turned her head quickly and grasped her wand in her jean pocket, but there was nothing there. Even so, she felt goosebumps prickle her arms, despite the summer heat. She was nearly on her street and all the yards nearby her were empty. The only sound that filled the sky was the melancholic chirping of crickets. She took a step closer to the hedge she had just passed and looked around it, but there was nothing there either. 

She shrugged to herself, deciding it must have been an animal. Her curiosity fought to keep investigating, but she reminded herself that she was quite alone and technically not allowed to do magic outside of school. So she turned back around and began kicking the pebble again without another thought. She only stopped again when she passed Spinner’s End and took a moment to peer down it’s dark streets. This secluded corner was like the rest of Cokeworth, with a majority of working class families, but it had a stronger eeriness to it, the houses more run down and the people who lived there usually more hidden from the rest of the town. It always gave her feelings of despair to look down those streets and as she did so tonight, she wondered what Severus was doing this summer. She felt a little bad for him, as he was likely cooped up in his house with his mother and father. She had never been allowed to go into his house and had even been told by him to never meander that way. Crazy how even in their hometown, she had done everything he told her to. 

She was growing sad and angry again, thinking about her old friend, so she continued on her journey, trying to put the past behind her. She had been realizing that it was a hard thing to do. It had seemed simple, when she told herself at the beginning of the summer that she would finally throw away that friendship. But all the memories she dumped out came creeping back in, one by one, everytime she passed a reminder of the boy. It was strange, having a summer not spent with Severus, but she could only hope that in time she would no longer linger on those thoughts. 

She could see her house now. It was a small, two story house with three bedrooms, and although many of the houses in Cokeworth had a similar air to them, the Evans had always managed to give theirs a unique and homey feel. Her mum’s garden was flourishing as ever, with bright sunflowers reaching past the first floor windows. 

She quietly opened the front door and walked through the hallway towards the steps, hoping she could get up to her room without any fuss from Petunia.

Unfortunately for her, her sister was sitting on the couch, already dressed in her night clothes, and waiting for her. 

“Finally, you’re home.” She looked at Petunia, unsure if her sister was worried about her or just annoyed at her late arrival.

“I was at the ice cream parlour,” she responded, as if she owed the other girl an explanation. 

Petunia huffed and looked back down at the magazine she was reading. 

“Did you need something?” Lily asked as she turned away from the stairs towards the couch.

“As a matter of fact, I did.”

“Well…” 

“I wanted to talk to you about Vernon.” She didn’t look up from her magazine, but Lily could tell she had stopped reading--or looking at the pictures, she wasn’t entirely what Petunia did with magazines. 

“Oh.” She was surprised. Of course, she had been wanting this when she first came home, but had given up on the idea that her sister would come around and finally introduce her to her boyfriend. 

She walked over to the couch and sat next to Petunia, drawing one leg underneath herself and turning towards her sister. 

Petunia closed her magazine and glanced over at Lily. 

“I wanted to have him over for dinner this week. Before you go to your….friend’s. I would like him to meet you. Our relationship is serious and mum thinks it would be nice.”

“Well, that’s great, Tuney. I’d love to meet him. Though, when you say serious, do you mean you think you’ll be engaged soon?”

Petunia pursed her lips, obviously annoyed by the intrusive question, but answered her all the same. “It’s likely.”

“Wow.” She wasn’t sure what to make of that. After all, Petunia was only three years older than her and really, how long had she been dating this bloke? But she wanted her sister to be happy. That’s all she’s ever wanted for her and she was actually trying to include her for the first time in years.

“Anyways,” Petunia said, “I need to know if Saturday night works for you.”

“Oh, I’m working, Tuney. sorry.”

Another huff. 

“Friday?”

“Working.” Lily hoped this wasn’t going to turn into a fight. It wasn’t as though she had chosen her schedule with the idea to ruin her sister’s dinner plans!

“Fine. Thursday? That’s the earliest I can do and if not, you’ll just have to wait until you come back from your silly friend’s house.”

“I can do Thursday!” 

“Good.” Petunia sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “Lily, I haven’t told him about you know what, so I beg you, no acting freakish while he’s here.”

“Freakish?” She wasn’t shocked that her sister hadn’t told Vernon about her being a witch, but she was confused on how her very presence could be seen as such to a muggle who had never heard of magic.

“Yes. Talking about your school, your classes, any mention of magic at all. Spell too. I will not have it.” Petunia gave her a stern look. 

“You do realize I can’t do magic outside of school, right? But I won’t. I swear. I’ll be on my best behavior.” She put up a hand as if to give a scout’s honor, hoping it would make Petunia laugh, but instead she just looked at her with a frown. 

“Good,” was all she responded before going back to her magazine. 

Lily took that as her cue to go, so she went up to her room, thinking about how she was supposed to act more like a muggle. 

\---------

Regulus wanted to fall asleep. He wanted to fall asleep and dream a nice dream and when he would wake up this nightmare would be over. He would wake up and have his brother. But it would not just be the same brother. It would be all the best parts of Sirius, the Sirius that used to cradle him into a hug even when he did not want it and always stood up for him and made him laugh when no one else could. But it would also be a brother that wore a green and silver tie, that did what Mother and Father wanted, that did not cause problems. A brother that did not make noise. Merlin, he wanted this nightmare to end. 

Sirius’s screams played through his head as he ran down the stairs as quietly as he could, going back to the drawing room. He lunged himself onto the floor to his immobile brother’s side and started shaking his shoulders. 

“Sirius, get up.” He did not respond. He was limp and pale and sticky with blood. He checked to make sure he was still breathing. 

“Sirius, please. You have to get up. Quickly.” His voice cracked with urgency and fear and he willed himself to not let the tears fall again. 

“Sirius!” Finally, the other boy opened one eye slowly and looked up at Regulus. He made a move to sit up, but immediately fell back down with a large wince. He started to curl up into a ball, but then laid flat on his back, looking into Regulus’s eyes. 

“Come on!” He urged his brother. “You have to leave.” 

He had to get him out of the house. It was his last chance. He did not know what else Mother and Father intended on doing to discipline his brother, but it could not be anything good. 

“What?” Sirius looked confused. 

“It is not safe for you. Remember, Sirius! The dinner, the rumor, the cruciatus. Get up. I have your trunk.” 

Of course he had heard the rumor about Sirius back in February, but he had not given it much thought in the following months. Part of him thought it was another one of his brother’s stupid pranks with his immature friends, but perhaps there was more truth to it than that. It did not matter now, though, it was already out to Mother and Father and the damage was done. 

Sirius was tugging on his shirt, trying to get his full attention, pleading with him. “Regulus, it isn’t time. I can’t leave yet. I’m not seventeen. I can’t leave you. I won’t leave you here with them.” 

“I will be fine. Now, get up! Before they come back!” Sirius loved to remember himself as the one who had been the protector, which he had, but Regulus was much more well versed in the art of surviving in the Black household. For one thing, he knew how to act like a Black. 

He grabbed one of Sirius’s arms and pulled him off the ground, slightly struggling under the added weight. They left the drawing room at an excruciatingly slow pace and turned down the hall.

“Can’t I just take the floo?” Sirius was asking.

“You are not strong enough. You would end up in some random fireplace.” 

“Oh.” 

Yes, he had been completely frozen out of fear while his brother was being tortured, but he had also been thinking through all the different scenarios of what would happen once the torturing would stop. The minute Mother and Father had breezed past him out of the drawing room, he started putting his plan into action, leading them to where they were now, inching down the hall. 

He looked towards the end of the hall opposite the front door, listening for any movement from Mother and Father in the dining room. They finally made it to the front door and he handed Sirius his trunk. He hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should do anything else besides push him out of the entry and finally decided on, “I’ll see you at Hogwarts.”

He shut the door, straightened his shoulders, and walked up the staircase, where he would wait in his room until he would inevitably hear Mother’s screams. 

\---------

The door shut in his face with a slam. 

“Reggie.” 

Sirius looked around him. He had lived on this street for sixteen, nearly seventeen, years, yet he was so unaware of his surroundings. They rarely ventured into the muggle part of London, instead using the floo network to access all the wizarding places available to them. Walburga Black would have rather married a Weasley than be spotted walking the streets of muggle London. 

He limped down the steps of Number 12 Grimmauld Place, concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other. He was feeling dizzy, but he urged himself to make it down the street. 

He made it three steps and stopped, taking a shallow breath. He placed a hand on his stomach to try to focus his breathing and when he pulled it back, it was coated in a thin layer of blood. His throat tightened at the sight of it, his detailed memories slowly coming back to him, but he pressed himself forward. 

_ Stupid Pheme. If the brat had just kept her mouth shut this would never have happened.  _

He kept going, finally making it to the end of the street and turned the corner where he collapsed into a heap of blood, sweat, and ruined robes. He was going to pass out any minute, he could feel it coming on. His brain was feeling fuzzy and he had to fight through it to get clear thoughts.

What was he going to do? Where was he supposed to go? His pain was quickly taking over as well and he was struggling to access the logical part of his brain. 

Slumping over, he suddenly realized what he had to do, so he unlocked his trunk, and pulled out a small mirror.

  
  


\---------

“James...James…”

James whipped his head from the book he was reading and looked around the library, unsure if he was dreaming or finally going crazy. He had been holed up in the Potter’s home library for the majority of the night, ever since his parents went off to one of their dinners. 

It was an expansive room, always surprising outsiders by the sheer amount of books the family owned. Some said it must be too big for a small family of three, but James always laughed at this, because no amount of books would ever be enough for his parents. The mahogany shelves stretched all the way to the ceiling, filled with titles ranging from muggle fiction to advanced magical theory. 

He scrunched up his forehead, trying to remember the sound that had called out to him. It was a weak and ragged voice, one he wasn’t sure he recognized, so he shrugged it off and went back to his mystery novel, sinking deeper into the leather armchair he was sprawled out on. 

He was nearing the end, the antagonist had just been revealed, and he was about to find out why they had been releasing magical creatures throughout London. Only ten more pages. 

But then, there it was again. A little louder now. And if he wasn’t mistaken, it was coming from beneath him. “James…” He lifted his head back up and within a second he realized where it was coming from--the mirror. Standing up with excitement at finally hearing his best friend’s voice, he pulled the mirror out of his back pocket, but nearly dropped it when he said “Padfoot,” and saw what was on the other side. 

It was Sirius Black, there was no denying that, but what he saw horrified him. A thin, sickly looking boy appeared before him, and from the angle of the image, it seemed as though he was struggling just to hold his side of the mirror up. 

James felt his stomach drop. This couldn’t be his best friend. What he was looking at was a skeleton, skin so pale and thin he could practically see all the veins coursing through its body.   
“Sirius?” He asked in a concerned voice. “Is that you? Where are you?” From what James could tell, he was surrounded by darkness, with the intermittent faint glow of what must have been street lights. 

“James...I need you...come get me…”

“What, Sirius, where are you? What happened?”

“Grimmauld--,” was all the boy managed before his eyes drooped and he no longer responded to James’s shouts and questions.

_ Shit. Shit. Shit. _

His parents weren’t home. They were at a dinner party. But in his panic the name of the family they had gone to disappeared from his mind.

He threw open the door to the library and started sprinting down the halls, his long legs taking him through the manor. He only slowed just enough to look into the adjacent rooms and stopped at the base of the main staircase, spun around, and glanced all around him in a panic.  _ Think, James. _

“Vinney!” There was a pop and suddenly the Potter’s house-elf was standing before him. He let out a small breath of relief.

“Master James,” Vinney squeaked, looking up at him with wide eyes. “What is the matter?”

“I need to know where mum and dad went.”

“Oh,” the look of concern didn’t leave Vinney’s face, but she gave him the answer he was looking for. “The Longbottom Estate.”

Without a second’s thought he rushed up the stairs, shouting, “thanks!” behind him and slammed open the door to the sitting room, coming to a halt in front of the fireplace. 

He grabbed a handful of floo powder and in his haste he sent the entire pot crashing to the floor. But there wasn’t time, he had to go now. He stepped into the fireplace, threw down the powder, and shouted, “The Longbottom Estate!”

A moment later he landed face first on a dirty maroon rug. He pushed his glasses back up on the bridge of his nose and waited a moment for his dizziness to pass.

The room he had arrived in was empty, but muffled voices drifted from another part of the house. Finally righting himself, he took long strides towards the noise, having to remind himself he couldn’t run in someone else’s home. 

The voices were getting louder as he approached what must have been the dining room. The door was open only a crack, but through the sliver he could see his parents listening to Mrs. Longbottom, an intimidating and stern woman who he knew was actually quite nice.

“Frank told me there’s been talk about registering--”

He didn’t hear anything else, though, because a house-elf appeared at his side.

“Mr. Potter, can I help you?” James didn’t even have to ask the house-elf how he knew his surname, as he had been told countless times how much he resembled his parents, a fact he took great pride in.

“I need to speak to my mum and dad.”

“Oh! Just a moment.” He knocked once on the door before opening it and disappeared on the other side. A second later Euphemia and Fleamont were coming out, concerned looks on their faces.    
“What’s wrong James?” His mum asked. He looked over her shoulder and saw Mrs. Longbottom listening in, so he responded as quietly as he could. 

“Sirius. He contacted me through the mirror. He said he needs us to get him. I think he’s hurt.” He felt his throat tighten with fear as he said this and focused on his parent’s faces in order to think straight. 

“Where is he?” 

“All he said was Grimmauld. But it looked like he was on a street.”

“Alright,” said his dad, with a glance over at Euphemia as if communicating with her through looks. “We’ll apparate there. You can side along with us.”

His mum went back into the dining room to say rushed goodbyes to the Longbottoms, an apology, and a promise to come back soon. 

The Longbottom’s house-elf led them out of the house, but James wasn’t paying attention to where he was going, too worried about what was awaiting them at Grimmauld Place. 

He felt a hand clasp into his as they went through the gates and immediately knew it belonged to his mum. It’s thin, cold fingers always had been so successful in steadying him. He entwined his fingers through hers and squeezed. 

“Are you ready?” She asked him softly. He nodded, briefly looking over at his dad who was linking an arm with his mum on her other side. Then, with a  _ crack  _ and a sensation he wasn’t sure he would ever get used to, they were gone.

\---------

They landed on the edge of a street much different than the one they had left. The first thing he noticed when his feet hit the ground were the streetlamps casting a dim glow on the urban neighborhood. In front of them was a row of townhomes, all dreary in nature and lacking any of the warmth he always felt in his hometown. 

He looked around them, hoping to catch a glimpse of Sirius, but the only people on the street were a few teenage boys loitering at the corner. 

“Are you sure he said Grimmauld?” His dad asked. 

“Yes! I’m sure.” What if his family had gotten to him again? “Let’s-let’s just walk around and see if he’s around.” 

He marched towards the corner with Euphemia and Fleamont trailing slightly behind him. They were getting older and couldn’t quite keep up with him like they once could, but it wasn’t for a lack of trying. 

“Sirius!” He called, causing the group of boys to look over at him. They must be a few years younger than him, fourteen or so. “Sirius!” He shouted again, as he finally made it to the end of the street. He could smell smoke drifting over from the boys, causing his nose to itch with distaste. “Have any of you seen a boy around here? Black hair, slightly shorter than me?”

“Nah,” one of them responded. “There’s some homeless guy sleeping down there though.”

James looked towards where they were pointing, a few meters down the adjacent street and immediately caught sight of a pile of green fabric bunched up on the ground. He rushed over, not waiting for his parents this time and went to his knees beside the figure. 

It was Sirius. 


	7. July 29th

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I keep neglecting Marlene...I'm sorry. We'll get more of her once the girls are all reunited! Also, I was not expecting to do a Peter POV, but it's kind of just happened.   
> I hope everyone is doing well :)

Sirius woke to muffled voices buzzing in his ear. He thought he must be dreaming, though, because these voices belonged to his best friend, James Potter, and his best friend’s mother. Wanting this wonderful dream to stay for as long as possible, he kept his eyes squeezed tight, drinking in the sweet sounds that swept through the air. The soft tones filled up some of the emptiness in his bones, but there was still an aching numbness that fought to stay within him. 

“What if he doesn’t wake up?” James was asking. 

“I already told you. Your father and I gave him a dreamless sleeping draught. That combined with his injuries are going to make him tired. Merlin knows he needs the rest.” 

“Oh….right….but he’s so skinny! And those curses wouldn’t have done that. It has to be from the entire summer. Do you think they were starving him?”

“James. You need to relax. He’s safe now.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s okay to worry, dear. But don’t let it consume you.”

Realizing he was in fact, not dreaming, Sirius opened his eyes and was immediately hit by a thick ray of golden sunlight. He quickly brought his hand up to cover his face and let out a loud groan as a burst of pain shot through his side. 

“Padfoot,” came James’s worried voice from outside the door. “Are you awake?”

The door opened and revealed his best friend, hair wild as ever with large bags under his eyes. He tiptoed carefully into the room, looking like he was creeping around dragon eggs. He was grinning, though it looked forced, combined with hints of distress and caution. 

Sirius looked around the room and as his morning grogginess melted away, he realized that he wasn’t in his bedroom in Grimmauld Place, but in the spare one he had stayed in once or twice at the Potter Manor. It was a room almost the size of the one he shared in the Gryffindor tower, with curtains of midnight blue that matched those draped around the four poster bed he was currently lying in. 

At that moment Mrs. Potter pushed her way into the room, holding a large tray filled with a mountain of breakfast foods.

“Now, I couldn’t remember what your favorite was, dear. I hope there’s something here you’ll want to eat.” She looked at him with a grin plastered on her face, though much like her son, she couldn’t hide the concern flickering through her eyes.

“Thanks Mrs. Potter, I’m not that hungry,” he replied quietly. In truth, he wanted to roll over and go back to sleep- perhaps after shutting those bloody curtains so the room would be filled with darkness.

“Not hungry?!?” James finally spoke. Sirius glanced up at him, surprised by the outburst. “Mate, you’re flesh and bones! You need to eat something. When was the last time you ate? Have you even eaten anything since we left the train?”

“James,” Mrs. Potter warned her son in a terse voice before turning her attention back to him. “Sirius, when have you ever called me Mrs. Potter? I may be old, but I will not stand for it. Euphemia or Mia it is. And please try to eat something. You do need your strength.”

“Okay,” he replied, laying a cheek on his cold pillow. 

She left the tray on the table next to him and left, shutting the door behind her.

“Pads, are you really not going to eat?” James asked. 

“Not hungry,” he said again and snuggled into the soft blankets. He ignored the silent rumblings in his stomach that told him otherwise and was just happy his friend didn’t know they were there.

“Do you want to talk about it?” James pulled the chair from the desk to the side of the bed and sat down, peering through his glasses at Sirius as if trying to solve a difficult puzzle.

“No.”

“Do you want Moony and Wormtail to come visit? I can write to them and let them know you’re here,” he offered.

“No, don’t tell them.” The last thing he wanted was more people piling in the room with pity, trying to pull him out of the darkness. He just wanted silence, so he could succumb to his perpetual exhaustion and fall into another deep slumber. 

He saw James raise his eyebrows in surprise at this.

“Ok,” was all he replied.

“What day is it?” He asked, remembering the two Potters had been talking about how long he had been asleep.

“Thursday, the 29th.”

“I’m going to sleep.”

“Oh. Well, I’m going to sit here and plan out some Quidditch plays, if that’s all right?”

Sirius hummed in acknowledgement before pulling the comforter over his face and closing his eyes. He wished he could turn into his animagus form, but Mr. and Mrs. Potter would probably be coming in again to check on him. Some things were just easier to deal with as a dog. 

\---------

Remus dug a small hole in the dirt, uncaring that he was getting grime underneath his fingernails and all over his worn out jeans. He wiped the sweat from his brow and then dropped a few radish seeds into the opening, before carefully covering them back up with more dirt. He smiled, sitting back on the grass, and looking at the Lupin’s vegetable garden. It always made him happy to help his mum with the gardening in the summer, as she was always very proud of the vegetables and herbs it produced every year. 

Just as he was about to grab the garden hose, he felt a pressure on his shoulder and saw that a grey and brown bird had landed on it. 

“Hi Godric,” he spoke to the screech owl. “Has Prongs been treating you well?”

The owl blinked back at him and hooted happily. Remus laughed and held out an arm for the bird to perch on. Godric was one of the few owls that wasn’t afraid of being around him, which had surprised Remus at first, seeing as most animals sensed his werewolf presence. Even his father’s owl that had been in the family since Remus was born still got an agitated look in his eyes when he got too close.

He pulled the letter off Godric’s leg and went inside to find some owl treats, opening the letter as he did so.

_ Moony, _

_ Sirius is in trouble. We went to get him Tuesday night and he was in really bad shape. I don’t know what spells they used on him, but it’s bad. I was going to write to you yesterday, but I wanted to wait until he woke up. Listen, he didn’t want me to tell you or Wormtail, but I figured it would be the best. He’s so skinny and refuses to eat. All he’s doing is sleeping. Come as soon as you can. _

_ -Prongs _

Remus dropped the bag of treats he was holding as he read.

“Mum?” He called out. She came to join him in the kitchen from the next room where she had been reading. “I need to go to the Potter’s,” he told her.

“Are you sure? You know we don’t like you going off on your own these days. Your father is at the store, working. He won’t be on hand if anything happens.”

“Mum, it’s Sirius. James wrote me and said he’s hurt. And anyways, it's the Potter’s- I’ve already been there once this summer.” He looked at her imploringly, hoping she would concede. Hope and Lyall had kept a tight leash, so to speak, on him ever since he had bitten. They were worried someone would find out who he was if he went off in the wizarding world alone. They didn’t know the other Marauders knew he was a werewolf, so even going to James’s caused them distress. 

She looked like she was having an argument with herself, but she finally said, “Oh, alright. But please be careful. And be back by dinner.”

“I promise,” he replied, walking into the small sitting room where the fireplace was. Before he went to Hogwarts, the Lupins hadn’t been connected to the floo network, but when he left for first year, his dad decided they should connect it in case they should ever need to get to the castle quickly. It still made Lyall nervous to have a connection to the rest of the wizarding community right in their home, so it was rarely used. He grabbed a small amount of floo powder from the threadbare bag sitting on the mantel and threw it into the hearth. With one last glance at his worried mum, he stepped through the green flames, coming out on the other side into the Potter Manor. 

“Remus,” came Mr. Potter’s voice. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

Remus looked up at the man sitting on an old, but well taken care of couch in the middle of what he knew was the sitting room. He was also quite old, though the young Marauder was well aware that the bespeckled father of his friend was just as boisterous and mischievous as his son. 

He sent him a small smile and said, “James wrote to me about Sirius. Said I should come.”

“Ahh, yes. I think Peter arrived a little before you.”

“Is it as bad as he said?”

Mr. Potter paused for a moment before responding, “I’m afraid he’s not in his top shape. But I have no reason to doubt that he will make a full recovery.”

Remus let out a sigh of relief, as he had always trusted what Mr. Potter said. Be that as it may, part of him still feared how the man would react should he ever find out his true identity. 

“They’re in the spare room next to James’s.”

“Thanks.”

\---------

There was a soft knock on the door and Peter looked up. He had arrived only twenty minutes ago and joined James in sitting by Sirius’s side, watching him sleep. He hadn’t known what to expect when he arrived at the Potter Manor, but now that he was seeing his friend, he was extremely bothered. The boy occupying the bed may have shared the same hair and pale skin as Padfoot, but that was where the similarities stopped. Peter was currently having trouble processing how his larger than life friend of five years who ran throughout the halls of Hogwarts causing trouble could be reduced to what he was now seeing.

The door creaked open and Remus’s head appeared. James looked up from his papers and immediately walked over, passing through the threshold before Remus could step inside and get a closer look at Sirius. Peter quickly stood and followed them both into the hallway.

“What are you doing? I want to see him!”

“Shh, Moony,” James said, putting a hand on the other boy’s shoulder. “I don’t want him to wake up. I want to warn you. He doesn’t look like himself, so you’ll probably be really surprised.” 

James had given Peter the same caution before he went in the room, but it still wasn’t enough to prepare him for the gaunt state Padfoot was in.

The three boys walked back into the room and Remus immediately let out a small gasp, staring at the boy in the bed. 

“Sirius,” Remus whispered, making his way over to the side of the bed. Peter watched as he reached out and clutched one of Padfoot’s hands. He saw something else flicker on Moony’s face, although it didn’t make much sense to him. It was similar to the way his mum always looked at his father back when their marriage was still stable- like he was the only person in the entire world that mattered. Though, in this instance, he figured it could just be Remus’s concern for Sirius coming through and before he could read too much into it, Remus had tucked the expression away.

Almost as quickly as he had grabbed it, Remus let go of the boy’s hand and beckoned for the other two to follow him into the hall. 

“Has he told you what happened?” He asked James.

“No. He didn’t want to talk about it. He’s just been sleeping. Didn’t even want to eat.”

“So what do you know? He looks like death! Why didn’t you make him eat?” Remus demanded. Peter watched Remus in surprise and saw that James raised his eyebrows at the werewolf’s slightly accusatory tone. It wasn’t like their Moony to snap so quickly at the other boys. Sure, he was sarcastic and snarky at times, but he wasn’t usually one to have so much rage. Peter had only seen this side of his friend on a few rare occasions, because he always fought to push down any emotions that he associated with being a werewolf. And Peter didn’t think this sort of anger had ever been directed at Prongs.

“Stand down, Remus,” James said, squaring his shoulders and looking Moony straight in the eye. “I’m just as concerned as you are- no need to take it out on me. All I know is what happened. He called out through his mirror saying he needed me to come get him and when we got there he was on the ground a street over- bloody, skinny, in pain, and passed out.” 

“Sorry,” Remus said, hunching over and running a nervous hand through his hair. Peter couldn’t help but be amused at this action, as it was a habit all of the boys picked up over the years from James. “Do you think they used an unforgivable on him?”

“What?” Peter asked, perking up. “Do you mean like the Cruciatus?”

Remus looked at him pointedly, as if to say that was exactly what he meant. Peter gulped, thinking about the defense lesson just this past year where they had been taught about the effects of that particular curse. 

“I can smell the dark magic still on him. All the way from here,” Remus stated bluntly, as though being able to smell different types of magic was completely normal for a sixteen year old wizard. 

All of a sudden, they heard a sound coming from the room. Peter led the way back in and saw that it was Padfoot talking in his sleep.

“Reggie? Reggie?” He was mumbling. 

“Padfoot,” James said, giving him a small shake on the shoulder. “It’s Prongs. You’re at my house. You’re not there anymore.”   
“Can’t. Regulus,” he spoke again.

“Can’t what?” Moony asked. 

“Sirius, wake up,” said James. 

Sirius opened his eyes slowly and looked right at Peter in confusion.    
“What are you doing here?” He asked him groggily.

“Umm,” he stalled, thinking of what he should say, knowing his friend would likely be angry that Prongs went against his wishes. “I came to visit,” he settled on, knowing there was no way to skirt around the truth. 

As he predicted, Sirius looked angrily at James and said, “I told you not to tell them!”

“Why? They are your friends, Padfoot!”

“We just want to help you,” Peter put in, hoping he could diffuse the tension before it got out of hand. 

But Sirius just huffed and before any of the boys could say anything else, there was a large, black dog sitting where he had just been. Peter looked over at Remus, only to see that he looked disappointed. All three of them watched as the dog pushed himself under the covers nose first and curled up out of their sight. 

Peter couldn’t help but also feel a little let down by Sirius’s reaction. He had been looking forward to spending time with him, as he never got to during the summer. The last two weeks had just been James and him, which had honestly been quite boring. With all four of them together, he felt much more complete and like himself than he did when he was alone or with just one other. He just hoped that in a day or so Sirius would be back to normal and they could get back to being the Marauders.

\---------

“What do you think, Mum? Do I look enough like a muggle to pass Petunia’s test?”

Lily stood in the doorway of her mum’s bedroom where she had just woken up from a nap due to her late shift at the hospital the night before. Lily gave an exaggerated twirl and curtsy to show off her pale green, knee length dress.

Her mum smiled brightly at her and said, “You look beautiful.”

“Thanks,” she responded shyly, sitting down next to her mum on the bed. “I really hope it goes well.”

Though she didn’t want to admit it, she was extremely nervous to meet Vernon Dursley. If what Petunia was saying was true, this would be her brother-in-law and she only had one chance to make a good first impression. Not to mention the fact that her notoriously quarrelsome sister was actually trying to include her in an aspect of her life. That fact alone was enough to know that the evening must go well if she could ever hope for a lasting relationship with the other girl. 

Elaine Evans reached out a hand and delicately brushed a dark red curl behind Lily’s hair. “I think it will go fantastically. You have nothing to worry about.”

Lily always marveled at the way her mum seemed to know what was going on in her head, without her even having to say a thing. 

“Now, you better get yourself downstairs before Petunia comes yelling for you. I’m sure Vernon will be here soon.”   
Lily kissed her mum on the cheek and whispered a quick “goodbye, I love you,” before heading down to the living room where Petunia was waiting anxiously.

“There you are,” she said tartly. “I thought I was going to have to come get you if you took any longer.”

Lily resisted the urge to roll her eyes and instead said, “I’m excited.”

Petunia didn’t respond but instead took it upon herself to look Lily up and down, scrutinizing her appearance and looking for any faults. 

“I don’t look like a witch, do I?” Lily joked.   
“No, I suppose you don’t.”

Lily smiled, knowing that was enough to earn her points in Petunia’s book.

The doorbell rang and Petunia rushed forward, taking a deep breath and fixing her hair one last time before opening it. 

Lily inched up behind her and peered curiously at the man on the porch. He was fairly squat, dressed in an expensive looking black suit. What she found the most hilarious about him, was his rather large mustache that threatened to take up the majority of his face. 

“This your sister?” He asked Petunia gruffly, nodding in Lily’s direction.

Lily stepped forward with her hand out and introduced herself. “I’m Lily. It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Vernon.”

He looked at her small hand for a moment as though confused why she would try to shake his hand and Lily suddenly wondered what sorts of things Petunia had told him about her. Finally, he must have decided it would be impolite to refuse it, because he reached out and grasped hers in a firm handshake. She was happy that it was a quick one, though, because his hand was cold and sweaty, becoming one of her most unpleasant experiences. 

“Shall we get going?” He asked.

“Yes, yes,” Petunia replied, already looking flustered.

***

The car ride to the restaurant, called The Court Rooftop according to Vernon Dursley, was a quiet affair. Lily spent the long, twenty minutes in the backseat of Vernon’s station wagon, staring out the window and hoping the entire night would not be filled with this awkward silence.

When they finally arrived at their destination, Lily was surprised to find that it was not on a rooftop at all, but was just a fancy restaurant trying to adopt an elaborate name. After Vernon handed over his keys to a young looking valet, the three went inside where he had already made reservations. 

After they sat down at a round table in the corner of the place, she decided it was up to her to attempt conversation with the man sitting across from her. 

“So,” she ventured. “How did you meet Tuney?”

He looked up from his menu and shortly said, “work.”

“Oh.” She looked over at Petunia, hoping to get more explanation.

“Vernon works at Grunnings, don’t you dear? They make drills, Lily. Where I have my secretary position.”

“Oh--well--that’s lovely.” She smiled softly at the two of them, though Vernon didn’t see because his nose was still stuck in his menu. 

***

Lily had just tucked in to her meal when she was caught by surprise that Vernon was speaking to her.

“How’s school?” He asked.

Lily didn’t miss the sharp glare Petunia gave her at this question. 

“It’s good. I go to a boarding school throughout the year.”   
“Yes, Petunia has told me. Troublesome youth, was it?” 

Lily turned to Petunia. “What? No, that’s not true. St. Anne’s isn’t for troubled youth.” St. Anne’s was the name her family had given all of their family members and close friends, but they had never made part of the story that she was a troubled child.

Petunia clicked her tongue and put a hand on Vernon’s. “Ignore her. She doesn’t know what she’s talking about. The children there are liars, the lot of them.”

Lily gaped. This was supposed to be a night for reconnecting, but instead her own sister was spreading awful lies about her. The sad truth of the matter was, she couldn’t protest any further. For one, it would possibly damage her sister’s reputation with her boyfriend. As much as Lily was angry and wanted to defend her honor, she still found herself holding onto the hope that one day Tuney would forget everything she hated about her and love her again. The second reason, though, was that arguing this lie would mean possibly exposing herself as a witch. She didn’t think Vernon would be too pleased at hearing that and it would likely make him think she was even more disturbed. 

“That’s me. I’ve been there since I was eleven. One of the worst cases,” she answered instead, in a monotone voice that hid the bubble of prideful fury rising through her throat. He looked at her curiously, nodded, and went back to his food. 

As soon as he wasn’t looking, she turned her head and sent a death glare in Petunia’s direction. However, Petunia did not react the way the misbehaving students did when she had this look. Instead, she just schooled her face in a cold and smug way and turned her attention towards her boyfriend, bringing up the topic of drills.

***

Lily stared up at the ceiling of her bedroom, thinking about the events of the night. She wished she could be less gullible when it came to her sister, but once again, the girl had managed to hurt her immensely. Though she was used to the ignorant and cruel remarks, they still hurt her more than she would ever let on. 

When her mum asked her how it had gone, all she had said was “good,” before shutting herself in her room for the night. Despite Elaine Evans knowing how much Petunia hated discussing Lily’s magical abilities, she would never be able to understand just how closely it resembled the taunts and jeers she received at Hogwarts for being a muggleborn. It seemed that no matter where she went, she would always be an outsider- a freak. 

\---------

Many, many miles away, three boys also lay awake in their respective rooms, thinking of their hurt friend and the unknown terrors he must have faced before finally finding freedom. Another girl sat in her bed, looking at the stars, wondering what was wrong with her and yet another lay belly down on her floor, stroking her cat, and thinking about the world she might never be able to go back to. 

**Author's Note:**

> In the scene with Lily and Severus, some lines are taken directly from Deathly Hallows. Thanks!


End file.
